Dallas, There Are Too Many Events At Your Events

Dallas, it feels like you are having a moment. Creative groups in this town are getting organized, getting spaces and throwing parties. And thank you! It keeps me busy and overserved. With every invite to a new collective’s first soiree, I am pleased to see that smaller communities are forming…

The Pumpkin Spice Latte Shortage Of 2012: Another B.S. Shortage

A new marketing ploy is gaining popularity. It’s called the shortage. The technique was successfully leveraged a few weeks ago to drum up press for the already over-hyped pork product we all love way too much: bacon. Now Starbucks is getting into the shortage game with an alleged pumpkin spice…

Why Do Chicanos Love the Aztecs?

Dear Mexican: Why do so many Chicanos claim to be Aztec? CHICANO STUCK IN LEAVENWORTH Dear Chicano: You’re right. The beaner love for everything Aztec mostly stems from the Chicano Movement, which appropriated various Mexican iconography to make a long-vanquished culture their own during an era when they were searching…

City Dawdling Leaves Trinity Canoeists Up Shit Creek

This is for the paddlers. Not for me. No more ranting by me, no more calling people stupid. Even if they are. We are all on our knees here, pleading. All around me are paddlers — canoe paddlers, kayak paddlers. We’re pilgrims, walking on our knees to City Hall with…

Where To Party During This Weekend’s State Fair Classic

It is upon us: Fair season. Thirty days of fried food, weird crafts, blue-ribbon jams and petting zoos. The people watching, square dancing and pig racing are in full bloom in Fair Park, but as we hit October, Dallas will also prep for two of the biggest college football weekends…

Can I Demand My Day Laborer to Work Better?

Hey mojado: Since when do you think it’s OK to fuck up the facts of your wretched culture and concentrate on the few who have done something with their lives? For the most part, Mexicans are perverted, short, dark, little disgusting animals. You fit into that category. They shit out…

Five Reasons Why 2 Chainz Should Make A Presidential Bid

I don’t know about you, but this election coverage is really starting to wear on me. Headline after headline, months and months of media saturation, all to convince me to wake up 25 minutes earlier on November 4 to hit an elementary school on the way to work. I’m so…