Is It Time to Quit My Band?

Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Ask Fan Landers! Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist and is the author of The Girls’ Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to…

Please Stop Messing with Doughnuts, America

Everyone loves doughnuts. Old people love doughnuts. So do kids. Doughnut shops can be found in rural towns and urban neighborhoods across America, rarely with a sign more specific than the word “donut.” (Yes, they spell it wrong.) They transcend race, class and gender. They are the kind of food…

Josh Homme Is Dead To Me

Some people might hold up Josh Homme as a kind of savior of modern rock music, what with his riffs, and his arms (he has nice arms), and things like that. And I suppose that I did too, once. Around the time when Kyuss ended and QOTSA began, when they…

Rapt.fm: Like Chatroulette, But for Battle Rapping

Photo by ZeitfixiererFace-to-face battles may soon be a thing of the past.By Jonah Bromwich You enter the room and they’re already there. Some of the names you recognize: Randa the Rhyma (45 wins), Gig@ntic (48 wins), and Novice Raps (53 wins). You’ve checked the boards obsessively, but you’ve only ever…

Zero Hour for Mike Miles in DISD’s District 8

On November 5 in the Dallas school board’s District 8 — sort of a big wobbly east, west and northwest Dallas gerrymander — voters will choose between two candidates, both of whom are exactly the kind of people everybody always says we need more of on the school board. Kristi…

It’s Time to Abandon the Catholic Church

Dear Mexican: I’m a Mexican-American Catholic who is really upset about something I saw after Mass last night. As I waited for my son to come out of confirmation class (yes, I had already attended Mass myself), I noticed something really odd. I saw a grocery cart parked by a…

New Big Tex Is Tanned, Rested and Weird as Hell

Welcome to Alice Column, in which Alice Laussade writes stories about things on (roughly) the same day of (roughly) every week, making it (roughly) a column. Got an idea for a column? Start your own blog and write it up, you lazy shit. Say what you will about New Big…

The Weeknd’s 15 Most Absurd Lyrics

On the The Weeknd’s single “Loft Music,” Abel Tesfaye brags that he’ll “put your mind in a dream world.” It’s true, the R&B music of The Weeknd certainly transports you somewhere. But where? To a fantasy world of Tesfaye’s own making, a pleasure-centered nightmare tucked neatly between detestable and irresistible…

Mike Miles Gets 90 Days to Grow Up, Dallas Gets 25 Years

In the wee hours of today, maybe a dozen of us media people, half a dozen teachers union officials and another half dozen bitter-enders sat waiting in a semi-darkened auditorium at school headquarters while the school board was in “executive session” — a closed-door meeting in another part of the…

Should I Quit My Day Job and Do My Band Full-Time?

Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Ask Fan Landers! Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist and is the author of The Girls’ Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to…

The Top 10 Male Rappers of All Time

Since the birth of hip-hop, male rappers have been bringing their unique viewpoint to the art of rhyme. Today, we’re shining some long overdue light on their important contributions to rap. We’re proud to present our list of the ten finest male rappers, from the smoking-hot hardbodies to the true…