Well, That Did Not Take Long

The above image just went up on the Dallas Cowboys’ official Web site. How long you think that’s been prepared? The “North Texas” is a nice touch, but you also gotta wonder whether Arlington, which is footing $325 mil of the billion-dollar price tag, wouldn’t like its name there instead…

Hail Roger: North Texas Scores XLV

Roger Staubach suited up for his old team one more time; amazingly, the tight pants still fit. While the silence from our lame-duck, lame-ass Mayor’s office is deafening, the rest of Arlington, North Texas and, yes, Dallas can rejoice. Super Bowl XLV will be played here in early February 2011…

Cowboys Favored to Win the Super Bowl

Throw away your pins and climb down off your needles; this is the biggest mismatch since the Mavericks played the Warriors. OK, not the best example. But everything, remember, is bigger in Texas. So big that when the NFL awards the 2011 Super Bowl — XLV — to the Cowboys…

Tom Hicks: The Ugly American?

Tom Hicks had such a good thing going in Liverpool, where he owns the football club gearing up for tomorrow night’s UEFA Champions League final against AC Milan. Then he had to go and open his mouth: In today’s Guardian, the top U.K. read, the owner of the Texas Rangers…

Trainer Keeps A-Rollin’

Over the weekend I slipped outta town; took in some toe-tappin’ music at Texas’ oldest dance hall and screamed like a girl o’er the rapids of Texas’ shortest and coldest (70 degrees my ass) river. (FYI, if you’re headed to New Braunfels for Memorial Day, the river is running at…

Irsay Can You See the Super Bowl in Indy and Not Arlington?

Tomorrow, NFL team owners will award the 2011 Super Bowl, but to whom? The Dallas Cowboys? Maybe. Jerry Jones certainly thinks his ‘Boys deserve it; he ain’t spending a billion on 100,000 seats in Arlington for just to be closer to the Judge Roy Scream. The Arizona Cardinals? No way…

C’mon, Richie, How About them Desperados?

You think you’re in a sports drought? Try being Dale Hansen. All it takes is alcohol. What you’ve felt and what KTCK-AM’s (1310, The Ticket) Mike Rhyner sensed, Dale Hansen confirmed last night. It’s official: Local sports are in an extreme state of suck. You knew it would be lean…

A Setback in Quincy Carter’s Latest Comeback

We just traded our Quincy Carter rookie card for a package of Ding-Dongs. Had the munchies. A month ago, Richie wrote a column for the paper version of Unfair Park about the, ahem, comeback of former Dallas Cowboys quarterback Quincy Carter, currently pitching for the Bossier-Shreveport BattleWings in the Arena2…

Who’s On First?

We’ll just admit it: We’ve always had kind of a man crush on Eric Nadel. Can’t explain it. And won’t. Happens one night, I figure it’s an aberration. But twice in two nights isn’t just a trend, it’s a characteristic. Book it: Texas Rangers radio broadcasters Eric Nadel and Victor…

Going for the Green

Knock on 3-wood, I’m not going to finish this column. Because at this very second I’m closer to $1 million than ever before. Than I ever will be again. All that stands between me quitting my day job and watching eternal Seinfeld reruns is 166 yards of manicured grass. Well,…

Bitter. Sweet.

Dallas Mavericks Tears. Regrets. Sorrow. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2006-’07 National Basketball Association Most Valuable Player: Dirk Nowitzki. “Honestly, this is a tough day for me,” Dirk today, just said minutes after accepting the highest individual honor in professional basketball. “Let’s face it, these are not great circumstances. As time…

If Only One of Barry Bonds’ Balls is Worth $1 Million…

My dad, and most anyone who loves baseball, figures Barry Bonds’ 756th home-run ball oughta be worth the few buck it runs retail — or slightly less, since it’ll be a used baseball. But the folks across the street from Unfair Park HQ, over at Heritage Auction Galleries, have already…

Hollow Hardware?

The first European. The first Dallas Maverick. The first — ahem — in 25 years not to get his team out of the first friggin’ round of the playoffs. As expected, Dirk Nowitzki will be named the NBA’s Most Valuable Player next Tuesday at a press conference at the American…

Michael Johnson: Still Built for Speed

Looking…looking … searching … probing … A-ha! Found one — that pebble of positivity amidst the rubble that is Dallas sports these days. Granted, it’s a s-t-r-e-t-c-h. But in the carnage left by the Stars, Mavs and Rangers, I give you Michael Johnson. You remember Dallas’ golden boy, right? Born…

Stinko de Mayo

I’ve been duped. Pickpocketed. Gutted. Turns out there isn’t a Santa Claus. The CueCat didn’t revolutionize the Internet. I’ve yet to sprout even one hair from my palm. And, worst of all, the Dallas Mavericks haven’t changed their culture. Despite tweaking coaches and role players and logos and arenas and…

Insert Knife Here. Twist.

If Dallas couldn’t beat Golden State, maybe this guy from The Colony can. So, the Mavericks lost to a hot team, right? A Golden State Warriors squad magically turning playoff pressure into playground fun, right? A bunch of loosey goosey athletes primed — no, make that destined — to author…

People are Paying Good Money for the Dallas Mavericks’ Misery

There’s a piece in The New York Times this morning about the National Basketball Association’s download service, from which you can buy individual playoff games for three bucks — or a whole series for $12.99…or the entire playoffs for $79.99. The NBA’s going to start hyping the service today, even…

Warriors In Six

Stunning. Unfathomable. Disgusting. Embarrassing. Nauseating. Devastating. Empty. Never thought I’d see it happen — especially in the first friggin’ round against the tricked-up Golden State Warriors — but the Dallas Mavericks totally and utterly wilted last night in getting eliminated in Game 6, 111-86. No other way to say it:…