The Joy Of Six

Local sports teams have a particularly lousy history besting Bay Area franchises. Just a friendly reminder. And to think, Tuesday’s pulsating, improbable rally from nine points down in the final three minutes was the easy part. For the Mavericks, the difficulty arrives in about 10 hours in Game 6 against…

Hole in None

Unlike Alberto Gonzales, I do recall. It’s a shameful recollection about a day I naively assumed a first marriage would last, about a moment I flippantly reduced Byron Nelson to a prop. “OK, OK, I’m gyot one!” I slurred to bleary-eyed buddies as my wedding pre-game deteriorated into an alcohol-aided…

Stinko de Mayo

And then, living at the other end of Funtown, are Your Texas Rangers. Nobody should be rooting harder for the Mavs than the boys who forgot how to hit a baseball. The longer they’re ignored, the better. Remember way back in April, when a goofball columnist doubted Sammy Sosa’s production…

Mavs In Seven…Still

Pause the obituary and fast-forward the optimism, because Dirk Nowitzki just saved his ass and his team’s season with a comeback of Staubachian proportions. Just as another passive performance was shoving his Mavericks to the brink of an unthinkable elimination, Nowitzki suddenly summoned one of the greatest individual finishes in…

May Day! May Day!

This is a distress alert from the North Texas Sports Disaster Service. Trained spotters in Dallas have pinpointed ominous circulation and the possibility of an unprecedented and fatal occurrence of destruction in and around the American Airlines Center. A severe warning has been issued until, oh, say, midnightish. If you…

Nellie and Cuban and the Love Lost

On the front page of this morning’s Wall Street Journal, you will find a story detailing the relationship — or, rather, rift — between Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and his former coach, Golden State’s Don Nelson. Maybe their falling-out was over money — the $6.6 mil Nellie claims Cuban…

Mavs In Seven … Mavs In Seven … Echo … Echo …

Those of you Mavs bandwagoners who hopped aboard in mid-April and blindly, boastfully predicted a sweep of the Golden State Warriors are likely not reading this, because, of course, you’ve abandoned Dallas and its 3-1 deficit. For those who actually watch basketball and believe in the power of match-ups and…

A Good Night for Stack

Watch your back, Stack. You cost Tony Soprano 50 large. Sure, Your Dallas Mavericks are in a 3-1 hole against Don Nelson’s Golden State Warriors. Doesn’t look good for the home team, which, tomorrow night, might just become the first No. 1 seed sent to an early summer vacation by…

Mocking the Draft

To hell with the draft. We just wanna go watch TV at the new Cowboys Stadium. That sucker’s enormous. And you thought the Chinese were damn fools for trying to play God, or at least Mother Nature? An entire industry has metastasized from the Internet’s Petri dish, breeding on NFL…

Whoa, Nellie

It’s all you, Erick Dampier. Even if you do have a man purse. It’s all about Nelson. Not this one. This one. Like some of us have said before, Don Nelson is an entertaining clown whose unorthodox coaching gimmickry sometimes makes better teams look bad. But in the end, he…

Suits Him Fine

He’s coached in the NBA Finals. Worn two Olympic gold medals. Won NFL Most Valuable Player. Been enshrined in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. And this Saturday he’ll be picked in the top 10 of the NFL Draft, twice. All, mind you, by merely playing dress-up. From rugby player…

Dirk’s the NBA MVP!

Well…not really — at least, not so far. But according to an “exclusive survey” of NBA general managers just posted at RealGM.com, Dirk Nowitzki did snatch the Most Valuable Player award, just edging out Phoenix Sun and former Mavs teammate and drinking buddy Steve Nash. Dirk got 17 first-place votes…

Woe, Canada

First those hosers take out our hockey team. Now comes word that Toronto’s basketball coach has beaten out ours for NBA Coach of the Year. What’s next — a Canadian winning American Idol? It’s not like an official rule or anything, but can you win an honor if you live…

Schmoes 1, Pros 0

Avery Johnson is still scared of Don Nelson. Yeah, this is gonna be a long series. Toldja. The Dallas Mavericks will eventually win this war, but ol’ pal Don Nelson has already won an important battle. See, when Nellie used to coach the really crappy Mavs in the ‘90s and…

Mavs in Seven

Ah, those were good times, weren’t they? This weekend, it gets even better. I know, the Dallas Mavericks won 67 games and recorded one of the most amazing regular seasons in NBA history, while the Golden State Warriors barely squeaked into the playoffs with 42 wins. Should be a sweep,…

Best Mavs Video Ever. Ever.

With all due credit to the greatness of Mavs Moneyball, which is where I first spotted this thing, here’s my new favorite Dallas Mavericks video of all time — because, damn it, you can’t beat five friggin’ minutes worth of bloopers. So slam dunk the hunger, order a taco and…

Sooners and Longhorns, at the Cotton Bowl Just a Little Longer

From SportingNews.com on February 27: [Dallas] thinks it will keep the Texas-Oklahoma game in that dump of a stadium because the two schools realize the enormity of the game’s tradition, and because the city is putting a $50 million band-aid on the facility. Here’s your choice, Texas/OU: money or tradition…

Spike ’Em, Cowboy

Last we heard of Jay Novacek, the ol’ Cowboys cowboy retired to his ranch in Wyoming, herdin’ cattle and tendin’ to his young’uns. Update: WTF? Apparently Novacek is attempting to use his 6-foot-4 athleticism for further athletic glory, qualifying for the main draw of the AVP Cuervo Gold Crown Dallas…

The Rangers are No Hit. Literally.

“Going through a big-league lineup three times without anyone getting a hit — that’s pretty impossible.” So said Chicago White Sox leftie Mark Buehrle moments after beautifully blanking Your Texas Rangers last night, throwing a no-hitter that was one fifth-inning walk away from being pitch-perfect. And even then, he managed…

Definitely Dallas

In recognition of his continued charity work, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban was summoned to center court before last Saturday’s All-Star Celebrity Slam Jam and presented a bling-blingy diamond necklace by comedian Bill Bellamy. In T-minus two months, Cuban will be handed a far more valuable hunk of precious minerals…