A Broken FEMA (Yes, Again)

As we pointed out in August, the Health and Human Services Commission figures there are about 251,000 Katrina evacuees still living in Texas–66,000 of whom ended up in North Texas. Most are African-American; most are women; most are making very little money. And yesterday, a federal judge ruled that the…

Bump and Grimes

Techno music churns throughout the room, weaving around Japanese businessmen, bouncing off greasy-haired guys from Long Island and assaulting my ears with its incessant bass thump. To me, the loud music is the most distracting thing in the room. My guy friends, seated at the other end of our booth,…

Anna Nirvana

Anna Kournikova grabbed my balls. Relax. It was for charity. Some aspire to climb Mount Everest, facilitate world peace or concoct a beer-flavored cure for the common cold. Me? I just want to hit on the hottest human ever to pick up a tennis racquet. And have her hit back…

Tongue Twisted

No matter what the city, school board meetings can be bizarre spectacles that blend clumsy gestures of civic pride with demoralizing flashes of stupidity from elected officials and parents. Around 10 years ago, the people who came to Dallas Independent School District meetings recast this shopworn script, adding dramatic flourishes,…

Old Building, New Lives

Larry James steps through the dusty glass doors of his new building and flicks on a low-powered flashlight. He points the light toward a bank of elevators that haven’t been used in years. “We’ll have to take the stairs,” he says, shuffling in the darkness. The building, at 511 N…

Trial by Fire

There are hazards in allowing partisan voters to select local judges. As a defense attorney, Carter Thompson handles mostly low-profile misdemeanor cases, which are typically easy to turn around and bill than the more languid and complicated felony cases such as aggravated assault and murder. Then Thompson ran for criminal…

Red light, Green light

Red light, green light: Brace yourself, Buzz is about to delve into the world of high finance, proving once again that ignorance is no bar when you have a deadline and a column to fill. Today’s subject is a “scandal” involving Affiliated Computer Services, the Dallas-based technology services company to…

McRats | The Last Days | Smart Doggies | Margaret, Phone Home | Chain of Fools

McRats Better than the evil clown: McDonald’s served a rat—so what? (“I Smell a McRat,” by Richie Whitt, November 23.) It’s only marginally more disgusting than their usual slop and possibly better for the customer and the environment because rats aren’t pumped full of pesticides, hormones and antibiotics, don’t require…

Beige Book Filled With Gray

The Federal Reserve’s eight-times-a-year Beige Book report’s out today, and economic conditions in the good ol’ Eleventh District — which is almost exclusively Dallas but also includes most of the state — ain’t so hot, says the Fed: “In October and the first half of November, the Eleventh District economy…

We Are Telling You

Jennifer Hudson, at far right, is the one Dreamgirl you can meet at NorthPark this afternoon. What’s that noise? It’s probably all the Oscar buzz surrounding Jennifer Hudson’s performance in the film Dreamgirls. The movie comes out Christmas, but the former American Idol contestant’s already been mentioned as a likely…

A Whole (Foods) Lot of Moving

Just a friendly note to the mayor, who we’ve seen on numerous occasions pushing a shopping cart through the aisles of Whole Foods in Preston Forest: The grocery store’s closing on December 3. Three days later, it’ll re-open at its new location across the street — you know, the one…

There’s That Eatzi’s Lawsuit We Were Looking For

Last week we told you all about the shuttering of every Eatzi’s location across the U.S. save for the Oak Lawn mothership, which founder Phil Romano’s in the process of taking control of. But we just knew this story wasn’t going to have an entirely happy ending, and after trolling…

Wambaugh, Thank You, Ma’am

Joseph Wambaugh was in town last night, and for the first time ever, the writer actually read his stuff to actual people. Best-selling author Joseph Wambaugh, a former LAPD cop, did something last night he’s never done before: He read from one of his books. In public. Twice. And it…

There Goes the Neighborhood

About an hour ago, cops on horses and motorcycles and in vans and squad cars showed up near the corner of Maple and Wyclif, which is just north of the Observer office. More than a dozen officers are now on the street, stopping drivers to check for license and registration,…

Best Night of Local Music Ever. Oughta Be, Anyway.

Aaron “T-Bone” Walker gets a Kim Pendleton makeover Saturday night. Can. Not. Wait. Really, are you keeping your Saturday night open? Already told ya twice about the impending Reunion Tower Revue taking place at the Sons of Hermann Hall; but third time’s a charm, dig? Even better, we have a…

Cold Stove Rangers

So, the best the Rangers could do this off-season was acquire Frank Catalanotto? Been there, done that, right? The Ron Washington Era is off to a stumbling start. Phil Bennett is coming back to SMU. Bill Parcells has been invited back to the Dallas Cowboys. But, as for your Texas…

To Bee

The cast of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee has a spot for you–just ask one very smart 10-year-old boy from Dallas. If you’re a good speller, have I got the show for you. The ginchy gimmick in the hit Broadway musical The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee,…

Nick and Kirby Gots Balls

Nick Lachey’s gonna own a minor-league baseball team with Dallas’ Kirby Schlegel. Pinch me. Since Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson aren’t dating after all–no surprise there, since, like, isn’t she supposed to be with John Mayer?–guess we’ll have to settle for Kirby Schlegel and Nick Lachey. I know. Kind of…

Jesus Lizard Goes Yow!

Yesterday, very good Friend of Unfair Park Michael Corcoran stopped by the office, and the talk quickly turned to “the blog.” (Yeah, it was as exciting as it sounds.) Anyway, we got around to discussing how much folks dug the Nirvana anniversary-brawl video and the 28-year-old footage of the Sex…

Stock It To Ya!

Mark King: He’s out. In July. Till then, it’s $53,000 a month for him. Merry Christmas. In all those stories written yesterday and today about the, ahem, resignations of Affiliated Computer Services CEO Mark King and CFO Warren Edwards in the wake of the back-dating stock option scandal, one thing’s…

J-E-T…Uh…J-E-…

Adrian Jones was All-District at Carter. Now, he’s a New York Jet–and has something else in common with Joe Namath. You ever see Adrian Jones play football, back when he was named first-team All-District during his senior season at Carter High School? Me, neither. Guess he must have been pretty…

More School for Scoundrels (With Video)

In case you missed it last night, here’s MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann spending, oh, six minutes talking about the proposed George W. Bush library and think tank at SMU. His guest for the segment–it was the No. 3 story on Olbermann’s Countdown–is Arianna Huffington, who today has her own column today…