Old Habits

Before anything else, here’s how dumb things get in A Good Day for Die Hard–Related Media Product, which is being sold as a bang-bang movie sequel so that nobody catches onto its true nature: a black-ops experiment testing the human faculty for discovering coherent patterns in unrelated shards of image…

Bob & Carol & Franny & Zooey

Child characters endowed with adult intelligence tend to be disappointing puppets through which authors articulate their own views. But allowing a brilliant fictional child her own voice and agency (not to mention age-appropriate behavior) represents this whole other imaginative leap — riskier, but way more interesting and rewarding if actually…

A Toast to Lena Dunham’s Panties

Internet assholes are always yelling about what Lena Dunham doesn’t wear on Girls, but let’s talk about something she does. Bros who think everything should be marketed to them never get tired of pointing out that Dunham’s Hannah Horvath seems to be topless more often than not, a point of…

Melissa McCarthy Is Not Your Best Friend Anymore

To watch Melissa McCarthy as lovable chef Sookie St. James on seven seasons of the Gilmore Girls was to see an actress perfect the art of playing a sidekick. As best friend of the show’s protagonist, Lorelai Gilmore (Lauren Graham), McCarthy dutifully provided comic relief and a shoulder on which…

The Partners!

“I’ve been lucky in that I’ve always worked with writers whose voices are so specific that there really isn’t any way to recalibrate things without them being intimately involved,” says Steven Soderbergh as he swivels in a chair in the happily cluttered Flatiron District loft space that doubles as his…

Stand Up Guys is a Blow to Al Pacino’s Legacy

Please, for his own good, somebody clap Dustin Hoffman into a chastity belt. Based on what Al Pacino suffers in Stand Up Guys, and the identical humiliations visited up Robert De Niro in Little Fockers, it seems that Hollywood will not be satisfied until it has speared a hypodermic into…

Aw, Nuts

Being a lucky guy, I’ve only been kicked in the balls once. How did it rate on the comedy scale? Well, it was funnier than a monologue by Chelsea Handler, but not quite as hilarious as my last screening for colorectal cancer. Yet despite the fact that this act hurts…

Inside the Mind of Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen lives in a big yellow house on a T-shaped intersection in the middle of a fake neighborhood in a gated community off Mulholland Drive in Los Angeles. When I arrive there on a Saturday afternoon in January, I am intercepted in Sheen’s driveway by a security guard, a…

Girls, Season Two/Episode Three: Cocaine is a Hell of a Drug

Last week’s episode of Girls had a lot of lows, starting with Adam’s sad, shirtless YouTube music video, which Hannah and Elijah watched like a nature documentary while Hannah wondered aloud if Adam loved her enough to murder her. Episode three, however, was concerned with the highs, and opens with…