Why There are So Few Great Marriage Movies

There’s a reason, beyond basic Judd Apatow oversaturation, that hardly anyone went to see his mewl of middle-aged despair This Is 40. A movie about a marriage already in progress — as opposed to one about a marriage just waiting to happen, the province of the romantic comedy — is…

Jack the Giant Slayer Is Fee-Fi-Fo-Fun

To paraphrase Stephen Sondheim, there are big, tall, terrible, fleshy, bulbous-headed giants in the sky in Jack the Giant Slayer. And what would a big-budget, mildly revisionist, 3-D spin on “Jack and the Beanstalk” be if those fearsome beasties didn’t somehow make it down to sea level, where a storybook…

Feast of Appetizers

There’s scant dialogue but plenty of eloquent storytelling in the five animated short films up for a 2013 Oscar, all of which — along with their live-action and documentary counterparts — will get a pre-award show release at Cinemark 17 on Friday. Save for a five-minute Simpsons segment (“Maggie Simpson…

In Defense of New Girl (Hear Us Out…)

Depending on your perspective, Zooey Deschanel is either the cutest, funniest, most adorable little retro-kookster on earth, or she’s an irritating try-hard with zero comedy chops. The only thing the world seems able to universally agree on is that Deschanel has nice bangs. As such, her sitcom — New Girl,…

River Phoenix’s Dark Blood: Not the Epitaph He Deserves

When River Phoenix died in October, 1993, he was three weeks away from completing his performance in Dark Blood, an $8 million indie film that had already done five weeks of shooting on location in southern Utah. In this lurid modern film noir, Phoenix was cast as “Boy,” a mysterious,…

An Emoji Recap of Downton Abbey’s Season Three Finale

I’ve been frustrated by the latest season of Downton Abbey. It began with the edited out wedding in episode one, was enhanced by too many Edith romance story lines and then the loss of Lady Sybil? Unforgivable. So when the season finale rolled around, I didn’t watch it. Instead, I…

Girls Season 2 Episode 6: Boys’ Town

After last week’s singular episode, we’re plopped back into reality this week on Girls. Hannah discovers she’s gotten an E-book deal, but only has one month to write it, and subsequently vomits in front of a gaggle of brunchers. Marnie is still dating Booth Jonathan, unbeknownst to him, and the…

The Really Slow Death of the Die Hard Franchise

Does anyone care about John McClane anymore? That’s not the same as asking if you want to see A Good Day to Die Hard, the fifth in this series of films with increasingly outlandish action and increasingly cumbersome titles. The most recent entry — the slick, ridiculous hit, Live Free…

Kiarostami in Exile

Abbas Kiarostami is preoccupied with my tape recorder. He wonders if it’s too far away from where he’s sitting. He makes his translator switch from one side of him to another so that the recorder is between them. After a while, clearly still anxious about it, he picks it up…