Audio By Carbonatix
When Gizmodo posted about this Lucky Charms Sifter the other day, we realized there are a ton of equally helpful food tools that need to be invented ASAFP.
Here are five badass food tools we want in our hands in the nearest future:
1. Bacon Magnet
“Finally! A magnet that does stuff I care about! The Bacon Magnet attracts only bacon. Bring it with you to the grocery store, brunch or a bacon convention and start living the bacon-only life.”
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2. Lettuce Zapper
“Screw you, Lettuce! Nobody wants you. Thank you, The Lettuce Zapper, for making this taco salad into just taco toppings. I never have to eat lettuce again! Hooray and other happy exclamations!”
3. The Jack Daniels Jack ‘N Coke Jack Daniels Extractor
“The Jack Daniels Jack ‘N Coke Jack Daniels Extractor uses patented bendy technology to carefully and efficiently extract just the Jack Daniels from your Jack ‘N Coke. You’re welcome.”
4. Dark Meat Turner Into-er
“Sad? Depressed? You need the Dark Meat Turner Into-er. Turns any food into dark meat. (Not for use on beer or other booze because that would be dumb. Don’t be dumb.)”
5) Snobby Wine Talker Sword
“Ever been to dinner with a wine expert? Us, too. That’s why we invented the Snobby Wine Talker Sword, built to eliminate snobby wine talkers from your presence. Do I know which winery this wine came from? Nope. But I do know where the business end of this sword is about to land.”
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