Audio By Carbonatix
M&M’s are small chocolates with candy shells. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand. And they’re not fucking supposed to taste like carrot cake. Or candy corn. JUST BE M&M’s, M&M’s. It’s not that hard.
Also, fire your marketing research team, M&M’s, because if they said your target market wants you to taste like candy corn and carrot cake, they’re wrong. Or they’re trying to market you to the worst kind of human beings on this planet. Either way: fired.
We were all mad enough at you when you came out with white chocolate candy corn M&M’s (because: dumb), but what on earth were you thinking with these carrot cake M&M’s? “It’s Eastertimes, so let’s blow everyone’s faces off with disgusting!”
Were there several other not-chocolate options on the table that were thrown out at the flavor concepting meeting?
When news happens, Dallas Observer is there —
Your support strengthens our coverage.
We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If the Dallas Observer matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.
I’m so sad that carrot cake M&M’s exist. I’m sure actual carrot cake is pissed about it, and I would bet that carrot cake M&M’s themselves are completely shame-filled. As they should be.
