Critic's Notebook

MC 900 Ft. Jesus, Vanilla Ice Get Lampooned In History Of White Rappers Feature

With the recent emergence of Asher Roth coupled with the return of Eminem, it was only a matter of time before features like this one, which chronicles the history of white rap artists, started popping up around the Internet. This "White Men Can't Rap?" feature in particular takes a look...
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With the recent emergence of Asher Roth coupled with the return of Eminem, it was only a matter of time before features like this one, which chronicles the history of white rap artists, started popping up around the Internet.

This “White Men Can’t Rap?” feature in particular takes a look at 20 white rappers, starting with the Beastie Boys and runs all the way up to Roth–but it manages to touch on two Dallasites in the process. One’s pretty obvious: Vanilla Ice gets predicatably thrown through the ringer for his “stilted rhymes, cheesy image and presumptive tough-guy image.”

But the other? Well, let’s just say this: I had no idea there was so much MC 900 Ft. Jesus hate out there…

Check out what the story has to say about Mark Griffin:

In 1989, one of the first pure joke white
rappers emerged. His name: MC 900 Ft. Jesus. This Dallas
“artist” fell victim to a misstep that could trip up almost any rapper: he tried to overtly preach in his
rhymes. But beyond that, the Texas MC
had plenty of other artistic shortcomings. Rhyming off beat on his 1989 single “Truth Is Out Of Style,” the song
sounds as though it could have been delivered by a 50-year-old professor. Ultimately, the problem was that 900 Foot’s
style was never in fashion.

Yeesh.

Whatever–take it all with a grain of salt. Shockhound.com, where this story is featured, is the sister music-sales company of Hot Topic.

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