Audio By Carbonatix
Every week I try to find a lunch in Dallas that’s less than ten bucks. (Of course, empty parking lots, barred windows, cash only and misspelled menu items are always a plus.) Not every meal I discover is delicious, but they’re all memorable. Here were my five most memorable Cheap Bastard meals from 2011:
Mr Charlies Hamburgers It wasn’t necessarily the most delicious cheap lunch I’ve eaten in Dallas, but I’ll never forget that meal. An excerpt:
I immediately asked Google to give me directions. Google: (scared) Uh … you sure?
We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If the Dallas Observer matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there. Me: Yeah. Mr Charlies Hamburgers. Tell me where that is. Google: Are you sure, sure, though? Me: What are you talking about, “Am I sure?” Of course I’m sure. Just fuckin’ google yourself, Google. Google: Fine, asshead. Hope you get crabs.
When news happens, Dallas Observer is there —
Your support strengthens our coverage.
My Fit Foods Next time, I’m gonna save the 10 bucks and just microwave a sock and not eat it.
Sabor: A Taco Joint I haven’t been in a dance club in about 10 years, but when I walked into Sabor: A Taco Joint, I thought I’d accidentally broken my streak. (“Shit. Now, I have to give back my 10 Years Free Of Douche Boners In My Back chip and my I No Longer Know All The Words To This Beyonce Song badge. I earned those!”)
Ssahm BBQ I stumbled upon the SSahm BBQ food truck while walking through the Arts District playing hipster bingo. (“Another fedora. Dang. Already got that one. Wait — there’s a dude in somehow-baggy-size-zero skinny jeans walking with a girl in a too-short romper!! She’s got a sugar glider in a bonding-pouch necklace!!! Hell yeah! Instant bingo!!!”)
Lucia: Lucia doesn’t even answer the phone when you call to make a reservation. She’s like, “Bitch, leave a message if you want a piece of this and I’ll decide if you get one this year or not.”
****
There are a ton of places in Dallas where you can eat a more memorable, less expensive lunch than you can get at some lame national chain restaurant. I plan to try them all at least once. Hope you’ll join me on my hey-bars-on-windows-might-mean-really-authentic-cuisine-mom-‘n-pop-cheapo-food journey. Let’s live a little in 2012, shall we, bitches? Happy cheap New Year.
Follow City of Ate on Twitter. Follow me at @thecheapbastard.
