Six Tips for a Perfect Summer. With Boobs.

It’s hot outside. And sunny. We call this “summer.” I’m told it’s the time of year we’re all supposed to “Get that beach body!” At first, I was extremely excited about this concept: “Who wouldn’t want to treasure hunt for a body at the beach, right? Maybe it’s a Dexter-ish…

Dallas Has a Lesson to Learn About Segregation from Scary Detroit

Stories about my old hometown, Detroit, are no longer merely depressing. The word, depressing, just doesn’t get it. Detroit is beginning to be fascinating. Its plight is almost mesmerizing, in a science-fiction post-apocalyptic kind of way. Terrible awful unbelievable story in The New York Times today saying, among other things,…

Why Can’t My Band Land A Record Deal?

Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Ask Fan Landers! Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist, and is the author of The Girls’ Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to…

Learning to Accept the Extremes of Cancer

Lindsey BestAndrew Youssef [Editor’s Note: Longtime concert photographer Andrew Youssef found out almost two years ago that he had Stage IV Colon Cancer. In that time, he has continued to shoot tons of music events for our sister paper OC Weekly on top of other freelance work and working a…

The Ten Best Independence Day Songs

The 4th of July is one of the best holidays because it appeals to both patriots and pyromaniacs. It’s a time for eating too much and spending way too much on fireworks. We at DC-9 felt it was our obligation to give you a playlist for your barbecues and parades…

Running from DISD

I’m like you. Since Mike Miles started as Dallas schools chief a year ago, seven people have resigned from his leadership team. I wonder what’s wrong. Why are these people leaving? Is it Miles? The school board? Me? My dogs? It’s not easy to get a good answer, because the…

Aztecs Among Us?

My recent columna about whether Aztec savagery influences violence in Mexico today drew muchos responses. Here are two: Dear Mexican: I grew up in Huntington Beach and am a “brown man” (Iranian descent). I’m currently in Shitzona finishing up pharmacy school and made an observation today. The reason Mexicans are…

Let’s Play White Rock Lake Bingo

Summer’s here and the time is right for hitting up White Rock lake but not — and we mean this — to swim in it. Oh, no no no. Instead, take this handy dandy bingo card with you and play along as you walk the trails around the lake. Watch…

A Very Serious Conversation with Shaun Colon of Dang!Records!

Folks, meet my former co-worker Shaun Colon. Shaun and I worked together briefly in 2009 at The Absolute Space, a recording and video studio, as well as 100-room rehearsal facility in Dallas. Absolute is gone now, but the memories remain of aligning with some profound musical talent and pretty cool…

Snapple Press Release Is Stupid. I Am Sad/Angry.

Plano’s Dr Pepper Snapple Group sent us a press release today because they had nothing to say. No, really. This is their new marketing push. Celebrate nothing, because nothing is better than Snapple. Philosophically, this is a confusing proposition at best. While the press release steers clear of Descartian existentialism,…

We’re Sick of Our Crappy Manager

Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Ask Fan Landers! Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist, and is the author of The Girls’ Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to…

Meshuggah Helps A Cancer Patient’s Dream Comes True

Lindsey BestAndrew Youssef [Editor’s Note: Longtime concert photographer Andrew Youssef found out almost two years ago that he had Stage IV Colon Cancer. In that time, he has continued to shoot tons of music events for our sister paper OC Weekly on top of other freelance work and working a…

Bernadette Nutall and Other Profiteers of Inferiority Must Go

Heed what just happened in the battle over next year’s school budget for Dallas. Black elected leaders on the school board voted for segregation and failure. It’s time for everybody — I mean everybody — to rethink the role of black elected leadership in this city. Of course the traditionally…

The Five Best Musicians Over 50 Coming to Dallas This Year

Turning 50 is certainly not old by today’s standards. But rock & roll conventionally has a different scale. After all, at that age who wants to even go to a concert, much less embark on a nationwide tour performing hit songs you wrote half a lifetime ago? Lots of people,…