I Swore Off Pets Forever, and Then These Two Came Along

This holiday season we are sharing our home with two rescue dogs, and, yes, frankly, I do believe it makes me holier than thou, thank you for asking. I think it makes me a saint. We had a long series of dog deaths, two while walking. Don’t even ask about…

How can I Get my Mexican Neighbor to Turn his Music Down?

Dear Mexican: I need some advice. My wife (who’s a half-Mexican L.A. native, just so you don’t think we’re a couple of white hipster dickheads) and myself (who’s white, but an immigrant, so I hope that lowers my dickhead factor) have had it up to our orejas with our Hispanic…

Spending the Holidays Surrounded by America-Hating Asshats

This is the first holiday season I can remember in which people stood around the Yule log talking about the country going off a cliff. No, wait. That’s not the big part. The big part is that some of the people standing around the Yule log want the country try…

Golf Course Plan Needs a Strong Long Game

Last week when the Dallas City Council was deciding whether to donate public land for a private golf course venture in southern Dallas, I listened hard to council member Tennell Atkins. It’s easy for me to get dismissive about what I hear from Atkins sometimes. Maybe I need to listen…

The Overserved’s Best Places to Go Alone

Here we are. Halfway through December. Are you doing okay? Are you sick to death of the Christmas carols yet? I still haven’t gotten to do one of those gift exchanges where you get to steal your favorite gift; I think I am going to hold on to my holiday…

What Books on Mexicans Should I Buy This Christmas?

Dear Readers: Behold your favorite Mexican’s annual Christmas gift guide, where I give shout-outs to some of my favorite books that deserve your money this holiday season! And for once, I won’t recommend my books — ¡Ask a Mexican!, Orange County: A Personal History and Taco USA: How Mexican Food…

Why Again Would a Golf Course Bring Wealth to Southern Dallas?

The concept of the cargo cult was invented by white anthropologists to explain the behavior of black Pacific Islanders. We shouldn’t be surprised if the concept came out making rich Europeans seem smarter than indigenous islanders. To the anthropologist belong the spoils, you know. But cargo cults really exist. They’re…

Dreams of Fabulous Wealth Can Come True at DISD

Lots of people have nightmares. I do. So what? I’ve never covered that up. I told you about the one in which I work for The Dallas Morning News and I have to go in every day and write positive stories about the Perot family. See also: – OK, We…