Russell Fish Has Worst Idea Ever. Ever.

And you thought I didn’t have any right-wing friends! Russell Fish, education gadfly and high-tech inventor extraordinaire, has organized a little effort aimed at teaching the kids at Virginia Tech not to be such wusses next time. In Russell’s view, it is not the American way for men-folk, even if…

Laura Miller and Bill Ceverha, Cutting Down a Tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Bill Ceverha’s the mayor’s new best friend, we guess because Tom DeLay won’t return his calls. Laura Miller, our tree-climbing mayor, is planning one of her mom-and-apple-pie press conferences Monday in Fretz Park under the heartwarming motto, “Sink the Petition/Save the Trinity.” It’s an effort to stamp out the petition…

Is it Too Late to Give Tom Leppert a Nickname?

Tom Leppert prepares for a mayoral forum. We are so kidding. Or…are we? I attended mayoral forum other night at Paul Quinn College, where about 100 students and faculty gathered to hear the candidate posse tell their stories. I had been away from the forum scene for a while, and…

Ask a Mexican!

Dear Readers, The Reconquista has arrived! On May 1, Ask a Mexican! comes out in book form gracias to the literary madmen at Scribner. Expect more of the same, but más: more essays, more illustrations from Mark Dancey (the gabacho who created this column’s logo) and more questions. Below is…

Schutze Offers Some Tips, Many Tips

Personal unsolicited note of political advice from Jim Schutze to city council candidate Jill Kotvis. Below please find short list of translations from PublicSpeak to reality: PublicSpeak: “This campaign intends to stick to the issues, and we urge our opponent to do the same.” … means in reality: “Guilty as…

You Had Them, Gary Griffith, Then You Lost Them

My speech a couple days ago at the Lakewood branch of the Dallas Public Library was a huge success. Fans camped out all night so they could be sure of getting in. There were the typical tailgate parties and lewd shenanigans in the parking lot, and then they embarrassed the…

What a Woonerful World

Woonerfs have appeared to me, and now I understand the universe. Even more amazing, for the first time I understand Ed Oakley. Sort of. Ed Oakley. Dallas City Council member. Candidate for mayor. Chairman of the Trinity River committee. Mr. Woonerful. Let me say this about that: At least symbolically,…

Ask a Mexican!

Dear Mexican, Have you seen the e-mail flying around, allegedly from country rock star Charlie Daniels? What’s your reaction? —The Mexicans Went Down to Georgia Dear Gabacho, I love it. For ustedes readers who don’t know what we’re talking about: In April 2006, one-hit has-been Charlie Daniels posted an essay…

2,4, 6, 8, Who Do We Appreciate? Jim, Jim, Jiiiim

Always kind of putting yourself out there, aren’t you, Robert? I think it may be worth noting that I was actually a member of the group at the Pontiac Young Men’s Vocational Academy (where I studied journalism and wood-turning), who invented cheerleading. I’m the guy on the far right. That…

Ask a Mexican!

Dear Mexican, I lived here illegally for the first half of my life, so I’m very offended when I hear anti-immigrant comments. I especially can’t stand “Illegals don’t pay taxes, so they shouldn’t be here.” When my father applied for residency during the amnesty in the 1980s, part of the…

We See England, We See France…

We need to get a few things out of the way right here at the top. Please tell me that I am thin-skinned. Thank you. Now I would like you to tell me this is all just sour grapes. Great. And finally, please tell me I’m just jealous. Hey, that…

Ask a Mexican!

Dear Mexican, What do Mexicans think about President Bush’s grandfather having a hand in getting the guy that robbed Pancho Villa’s head out of jail? —Kruising Klassily in Kennebunkport Dear KKK, Ah, Villa’s stolen skull. No macabre Mexican legend is more mired in intrigue, distortions and looniness. Here are the…

Vox Populi

One of the things you hope you get to see every once in a while in a democracy—at least catch glimpses of—is democracy. Those of us who are over 21 and have attended a county fair or two know better than to expect to find it just lying around on…

That Jim Schutze is Always Makin’ Friends

Next month, the American Institute of Architects is going to give its Honor Award for Regional and Urban Design to the Dallas Trinity River Corridor Project for its having a “Balanced Vision Plan.” This raises the question whether urban design expert Alex Krieger and transportation planner William Eager should receive…

Ask a Mexican!

Dear Mexican, Why should Mexican nationals have more of a right to stay in this country than Chinese, Somalis or others who can’t cross an open land border and must thus wait on the bureaucracy like everybody else? —700 Miles Isn’t Long Enough Dear Gabacho, ‘Cause this land once belonged…

Steve Blows

It’s true: Nothing brings out the courage or the imagination in this town like the Trinity River project, our gigantic multibillion-dollar plan to build a magnificent park in the center of the city. But there’s also nothing else quite like it for bringing out the groveling, the up-sucking and under-knuckling…

The Jim Schutze Peep Show

Robert, as you know, I will be appearing on the KERA-FM (90.1) radio program, Think About It, I believe it’s called, at noon today with Dave Levinthal of The Dallas Morning News to discuss important issues in the mayor’s race. I wanted to tell you and share with our blog…