Dear John F. Kennedy Library Foundation: Good move on blowing off the Sixth Floor Museum and executive director Nicola Longford regarding her plans for a 50th anniversary commemoration of the Kennedy assassination in Dealey Plaza. Believe me: You don’t want to touch this gang with a 10-foot pole. According to…
Maybe you’ve been following the saga of Lisa Chambers, the Dallas County homeland security director who was canned this week over who knows what. The only part of it I’m really personally interested in is the paranoid part, because I happen to be paranoid myself. It’s like a club. We…
I think of everything the wrong way, from a skewed perspective. Who knows why? Maybe I got dropped on my head as a baby. But here’s how I’m looking at this deal in which Dallas County Judge Craig Jenkins fired the security lady who wouldn’t sweep for FBI bugs in…
Dear Mexican: There’s something I am concerned about, or bothered by. I was born and raised in Mexico, but I’ve been here for eight years. All the talk about 9/11 is too much, because every single year brings a rehash of the tragedy. I really think that remembering the event…
The McRib is back. Again. The sandwich with a cult-like following will be released nationally through November 14. McDonald’s official website is pimping out McRib’s return by describing the sandwiches with brazen alliteration — tantalizingly tart pickles, sensationally savory onions, magnificently mouthwatering boneless rib and sweetly sumptuous barbecue sauce. All…
Now this is something I could really kick myself for. I can take being wrong. It’s one thing to be accused of being too Pollyanna. (Not sure that has actually ever happened.) But the one thing I cannot forgive in myself is not being negative enough. That just should not…
Welcome to Local Music ‘Mericans , where we meet some of the people behind the local music scene — those who aren’t necessarily members of local bands, but more the people who make the scene move. At the moment, Carissa Hughes works for American Airlines Center, where it’s her job…
Alfredo Corchado has a story in today’s Dallas Morning News about Mitt Romney’s Mexican relatives: “Mitt Romney’s relatives in Mexico are supportive but wary.” It’s a topic that has been in the back of my mind ever since Dallas’s own Robert Jeffress, senior pastor of Dallas First Baptist, tried to…
Look, I know I just covered this in a column in the paper, but I can’t resist coming back to the theme of Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings as a so-what clone of the last mayor we had around here, Tom Leppert. The target I find particularly irresistible this time is…
Dear people of St. Louis, You’re about to either head to Dallas or watch Dallas on your TV as our baseball (and football) players beat the ever living baseballs (and footballs) out of your baseball (and football) players. I’m not talking about the Most Elligible Dallas Dallas (“Carbs and cheese…
I was called out on Twitter after posting a rehash of Playboy’s Never Sleep:Dallas — a guide to drinking away a Saturday in the Big D. I picked on the magazine for ordering a Manhattan, and Twitter user philipberne scoffed: Also, @scottreitz, a Sazerac, with its Absinthe spritz, is a…
Dear Mexican: Really? You answered “When Should You Use Usted Instead of Tú?” recently over my “Why Won’t My Gardener Fuck Me Again If I Demand an HIV Test?” Any sad gabacho can Google for grammar tips (no offense to Yo Quiero Hablar). Meanwhile, we clueless gabachas need to know…
OK, all you Mike Rawlings fans: I sure hope you like your new “progressive” Democrat mayor, the man who was going to make such a big difference at City Hall. Because it sure looks like the same weird old Dallas plantation to me. Look, I admit it’s just my own…
Welcome to Local Music ‘Mericans, where we meet some of the people behind the local music scene — those who aren’t necessarily members of local bands, but more the people who make the scene move. James Shepard, known endearingly throughout the music scene simply as “Shep,” has been running things…
Big disagreement. My house. Now. Ferris wheel next to Kennedy memorial. Wife, a Dallas native. Self, a carpetbagger. Wife, tasteful. Self, not. Wife says Yankees will criticize city. Self say, so what? Self know more about Yankees than wife. Screw Yankees. It’s been almost 50 years. Can’t Dallas have a…
Everyone loves a good excuse to visit Playboy’s website while at work. This one is even legitimate. The magazine recently published a Never Sleep: Dallas guide prescribing the perfect Saturday night. In the name of work, I thought I’d take the guide apart one recommendation at a time to see…
Hey hippies. I know you’re pissed off about banks and the man and whatnot. But as this article in Mother Jones points out, you’re really missing out on a great opportunity. Everyone’s asking you for specifics, so get specific, and make food reform the backbone of your movement. Everyone’s gotta…
So let’s see if we can ride this circus train. Mike Rawlings runs for mayor pledging to clean up the “ethics” issue at Dallas City Hall. And if I may offer a small correction here at the top, I think right now it’s not really so much an ethics issue…
Behold! Dessert Plate! I first met you back in high school, where I thanklessly waited tables at a seafood-meets-steak house on the Chesapeake Bay. There, in the walk-in fridge, you sat perched at the ready, covered in cellophane and prepared to advertize your glorious bounty to diners already stuffed with…
I guess if you took a pickax and a fire hose to it, you could have dug out a little bit of the truth from this morning’s City Hall briefing on the inland port, but you needed to have your tall rubber boots on. Before we wade into the bullshit,…
Oh, come on, Chief Brown. Please. You’ve been great so far. Don’t go all Bolton on us. Earlier this week the Black Police Association of Greater Dallas threw in with former Dallas city council member Diane Ragsdale and some other black community leaders to do a serious race-card attack on…
Candy corn, I hate you. Mainly because — and I’m going to be blunt here — you fucking suck. You taste like pre-digested marshmallows and Sweet Vanilla Shit Meadow Febreze had a flavor baby. You’re punishment candy. People who give out candy corn on Halloween would be better off giving…
