Eye on The Balls

You probably can’t tell, but this is Your Favorite Dallas Maverick. But one bit of advice, Ben and Skin: Remember Ticket TV? No? Just sayin’, fellas. Look sharp. Don Nelson won’t return to the American Airlines Center until Monday. Unfortunately, his style of basketball arrived Thursday night. In a hideous…

Stern Warning

So, Mark Cuban’s made peace with NBA commish David Stern…not. (Really, I should not have seen Borat four times already…not. Damn it.) You know why Cuban’s mad now, don’t you: Stern’s new league-wide rule that prohibits team owners from going on the floor during the game or joining in team…

Morning Motivation

All you gotta do around here is listen and, just through osmosis, you’ll learn how to win Cy Young Awards, re-write recent history and, come Monday, be absolutely perfect. Roger Clemens stopped in Dallas today to speak at the SMU Athletic Forum. Dallas Cowboys coach Bill Parcells is now chirping…

A Banner Night?

Tonight the Dallas Mavericks take the first step of what they hope is an eight-month journey to the NBA Championship. Dirk Nowitzki will resume his climb to MVP. Avery Johnson will continue to preach “basket-BAWL.” Tim Duncan and the San Antonio Spurs will again provide the major obstacle. And, of…

Puck You

So, you wanna piece of Marty Turco? Have a seat. Down the hall, hang a left into the Dallas Stars players’ lounge. Back there, past the P.F. Chang’s spread and the Super Chexx bubble hockey game. Go ahead, plop down in one of those plush black leather chairs. Kick back…

Happy on the Hell-Top

Roger Clemens is coming to SMU. So too, probably, is an NCAA soccer championship. But a football bowl bid? To our lil’ SMU? Crazy as it sounds, yep. Well, maybe. OK, possibly. Clemens, the 11-time All-Star and seven-time Cy Young Award-winning pitcher, will be tomorrow’s guest speaker at the SMU/GTE…

Merry Christmas!

Will Dirk suck or blow this season? Neither, of course. Odds are good he’ll be the NBA’s MVP. Good, not great. Yeah, yeah. Happy Halloween. Whatever. Tonight’s the night we get to unwrap a brand spankin’ new NBA season. If karma is has a heart, in eight shorts months our…

Ship Happens

Tony Romo’s either The One or just the next one, but either way we’ll savor this Sunday till the next one. OK, in deference to last week’s faux fiasco, that headline is a typo. But, gulp, after watching Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo last night in Carolina, he might not…

Pity Parcells

Bill Parcells may be an asshole, but he’s a complicated, self-torturing and very likely depressed asshole. Which has to count for something. Countless times–well, just three, actually–Richie Whitt’s called Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells an “asshole” on Unfair Park. Got no problem with that. From the far outside looking in,…

Who Owns “America’s Team”?

How this lawsuit slipped past the offensive line is beyond me; maybe Flozell Adams and Marc Colombo let it through, like everybody else trying to sack whoever’s under center for Your Dallas Cowboys. But on October 16, the Dallas Cowboys and NFL Properties filed a federal suit in the Northern…

Wash Your Balls

Mark Cuban’s got a fresh posting over at BlogMaverick concerning the new NBA balls, and we don’t mean rookies. Looks like he had the University of Texas at Arlington physics folks look at both the new and old basketballs to see which one was better. Cuban has his own thoughts…

The Cowboys Smell a Rat

And, for once, it ain’t T.O. Dallas’ Only Daily has two fascinating Cowboys-related tales today, one featuring Terrell Owens and the other inviting punch lines about the volatile receiver’s alter ego. On a semi-serious note, a special advertising section insert (for the life of me I can’t find it online)…

Indian Summerall

Pat Summerall returns to the broadcast booth Sunday after a two-year absence. Isn’t that right, John? First it was Keith Jackson who couldn’t walk away from football, now this. It’s been two years since Pat Summerall called a football game, but it seems much longer; already it feels like John…

Mad Cowboys Disease

We got $20 that says Drew Bledsoe plays some time before the end of the season. Or Sunday night’s game. Forgive me, Bible Girl, for I am about to sin: Sonofabiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!!! The two defining press conferences at Valley Ranch this year have featured Kim Etheredge chomping her gum and Bill…

Tony Oh-No

Like two shits passing in the night, Dallas Cowboys quarterbacks of sudden past and temporary present take turns getting humiliated. If nothing else, Monday’s 36-22 implosion against the New York Giants confirms three certainties: 1. The Cowboys’ quarterback of the future is not on their roster. 2. The Cowboys’ quarterback…

A “BaD” Curse Gets Worse

www.bobanddan.com If you see Dan McDowell, left, and Bob Sturm coming, run the other way. Drew Bledsoe didn’t; look what happened to him. Fonzie, yer next. According to popularity polls, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram and totally illogical thinking, Tony Romo will today be officially named the Dallas Cowboys new starting…

That’s Rich

Every member of the local sports media knows Rich Dalrymple. Kinda have to: He’s the public-relations director for Your Dallas Cowboys. Has been for 17 years. Some day, oh, ask Richie Whitt what he thinks of Rich. Or ask me. I know the guy. Had to deal with him back…

Rogers the Dodger

During Game 2 of the World Series, Fox showed The Gambler’s hand with and without the mysterious substance that has led many to think the guy’s a cheater and a jerk. Either Kenny Rogers has started wiping his ass with his left palm, or else he’s cheating. The same pitcher…

Last Boo For Drew?

Tony Romo, otherwise known as the next Cowboys quarterback capable of throwing the worst-scenario interception Roger Staubach’s last pass was completed to guard Herb Scott. Danny White’s fateful play forced an infamous “No, Danny! No!” from coach Tom Landry. Troy Aikman’s final play ended in a huge hit by LaVar…

Are You Ready For Some Futbol?!

Come to think of it, we can’t recall ever seeing Bobby Carpenter in a Dallas Cowboys uniform… If the answer to the question posed above is yeah, you’d better thumb a ride to Denver, where FC Dallas begins the Major League Soccer playoffs Saturday night against the Colorado Rock…no, um,…

Two of a Kind. Or UnKind.

Mark Cuban says he wishes Don Nelson all the luck in the world. Yeah–luck, with a capital “f.” I’m supposed to be all jacked up about October baseball and all fixated on tonight’s Game 7 of the National League Championship Series between the Mets and Cards. But, nope, not even…

The Endurance Evangelist

Didn’t even know Dean Karnazes was in town did you, fat ass? I’m talking to you, Mrs. Gawd-I’m-sitting-in-the-Starbucks-drive-thru-for-19-minutes-waiting-for-two-muffins-and-a-triple-latte-prayin’-I-make-it-home-for- The-View. And you, Mr. I’m-stopping-for-a-dozen-wings-and-a-pitcher-of-beer-but-I’ll-text-you-later-from-my-BlackBerry-before-nestling-into-the-butt-groove-of- my-couch-for-three-hours-of-pizza-‘n-Cowboys. Damn, people. Y’all are so busy having seconds and helping Dallas to fourth on this year’s Men’s Fitness list of America’s fattest cities you don’t even…