Sports

Unfair Park officially lays claim to this headline. Also, “Ro-No!” (Note to self: Sober up before posting to Unfair Park in the future.) –Robert Wilonsky…

You know why the Cowboys should win? Because Seattle has Pete Hunter. Remember him? No? Lucky you. I know what you’re expecting me to say. Something pessimistic yet clever, like, perhaps: Screw the anointing oil; get out the embalming fluid. Not today, Cowboys fans. The sun rose in the west,…

We’re so over Tony Romo. Yup. We’re all about Josh Howard now. We’re Jomosexual! At least, that’s what I would say to the Miami Heat these days if I were Avery Johnson or Dirk Nowitzki or anyone remotely associated with the Dallas Mavericks. Proof that the basketball gods feel horrible…

He’s overdramatic. But also underappreciated. Take it from me and Gordon Keith, he’s a big, easy, Polish target. But today — though it’s about a week late — feels like a good day to praise Norm Hitzges. His football picks are above .500, his NFL Draft board is still legendary,…

Wanna hear the worst idea since Saddam Hussein’s kinfolk got him a tie for Christmas? The city of Dallas is spending $50 million to renovate a lame-duck stadium. Unless you’re a nearsighted, closed-minded, sports-oblivious politico, you know the Cotton Bowl’s present is almost history because its future resides not in…

We’re not sure how old you have to be to post your stats to Sports Groove’s Web site, but these look like likely candidates. Granted, I’m one of the few cyberdorks who somehow exists without a MySpace page. But I do know when I smell something sporty baking in the…

Today’s subscription-only Wall Street Journal takes a stab at the new Dallas Cowboys home set to open in 2009. You know the drill: 2.3 million square feet, 100,000 seats when counting standing room, two 2.1-million pound roof panels that open on a rack and pinion drive system so God can…

See, good things do happen to bad people. In the proud tradition of Michael Jackson selling tons of records, Barry Bonds closing in on baseball’s home-run record and even old man Potter being filthy rich in It’s a Wonderful Life, college basketball has a new coaching king. Unfortunately, it’s the…

It’s time like these we sure as hell do miss the crap outta Barry Freakin’ Switzer, damn it. Be sure to tune in to NBC Saturday night at 7. It might be your last chance to watch Terrell Owens drop passes. It will likely be your last chance to watch…

Darrent Williams was coming back to Fort Worth this offseason to warn kids about living the same bullet-ridden childhood as he. One month ago tomorrow, the Denver Post ran a lengthy story on Broncos cornerback Darrent Williams, the team’s second-round draft pick in 2005. In that interview, part of a…

We head into 2007 knowing this much: Bobby Knight still doesn’t have the record, SMU still doesn’t have legitimacy, the Texas Rangers still don’t have a free-agent star and, most inexplicably, the Mavericks still don’t have respect. Even after last year’s glorious run to an almost-championship. Even after last night’s…

You know who we’re sick of watching? Roy Williams, shown here, as usual, chasing a guy with the ball. Look, it can’t all be T.O.’s fault. A big part, most def. If the Cowboys paid Owens for every touchdown (12) and Owens paid the Cowboys for every drop (14), heading…

A couple of months ago there was that New York Times story about Bill Parcells, in which the Cowboys’ coach was depicted as a guy who was just kinda, well, pathetic — a man who lives alone in what amounts to an Irving hotel room with little more than a…

Wait…how much is the city gonna spend on refurbishing the Cotton Bowl? Yeah. That’s an awesome idea. Psssst. Hey, buddy, wanna buy some watches? No? OK then, how about a sweet deal on some Cotton Bowl tickets? I know, I know — Nebraska vs. Auburn doesn’t exactly hit close to…

The Rangers offered Barry Zito $80 million. He said, “Thanks, but no thanks.” Surprise, surprise, surprise. T.R. Sullivan, former Rangers beat writer for the Startlegram, is reporting over at MLB.com that Barry Zito, the Oakland Athletics pitcher Texas was wooing, has opted to go elsewhere. Sullivan’s been told that Zito…

Josh Howard is a big part of the Mavs’ early-season success. Must be his magic headband. Remember earlier in 2006 when a certain local basketball team started 0-4 and a certain local sports columnist cautioned fans not to panic? You’re welcome. In case you’ve been too busy riding the Cowboys’…

T.O. must go. Because the only justification for stomaching Terrell Owens is a championship. And, after another egregious home loss in which their egocentric receiver dropped another key pass, the Dallas Cowboys aren’t going to win the Super Bowl. Selling your soul to Beelzebub for an NFL title is a…

Adios, John Danks, we hardly knew ya. No, seriously. We don’t even know if this is a picture of John Danks. We’re just taking a shot in the dark here. I’d swear during baseball’s winter meetings earlier this month I heard Texas Rangers general manager Jon Daniels say something to…

Till yesterday, I was going to suggest you visit these folks to fill any post-Christmas gift needs you might have missed; nothing says ho-ho-homer better than a “Romosexual” T-shirt. But after yesterday, no way does that seem like a good idea. The Cowboys QB played like the big-league rookie he…

Bill Parcells takes the blame for last night’s loss to the Eagles. Takes a big man — a very big man. Lemme see…nope, not there. Um, not there either. Maybe…uh-unh. Look for a shred of positivity from yesterday’s game at Texas Stadium, and you’ll come up emptier than Terry Hornbuckle’s…

Saw Matt Pinto’s Dallas Mavs-L.A. Clippers preview and noticed this listed among Pinto’s “Five Things to Know About the Dallas Mavericks”: “Rapper Joe Budden mentioned Josh Howard’s error in Game 5 of the 2006 NBA Finals in the remix of Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Crazy.'” News to me, but, yup, he’s right;…

Matt Doherty’s turning the Mustanks back into the Mustangs. Is it the holiday yet? Can we go home? First, a fancy library. Now, a legit basketball program? As Grandpa Bill Parcells says, it’s not time to get out the anointing oil just yet. But first-year head coach Matt Doherty at…