Bill Parcells is a Big Ol’ Softie

A couple of months ago there was that New York Times story about Bill Parcells, in which the Cowboys’ coach was depicted as a guy who was just kinda, well, pathetic — a man who lives alone in what amounts to an Irving hotel room with little more than a…

Cotton Bowl Tix as Valuable as Pocket Lint

Wait…how much is the city gonna spend on refurbishing the Cotton Bowl? Yeah. That’s an awesome idea. Psssst. Hey, buddy, wanna buy some watches? No? OK then, how about a sweet deal on some Cotton Bowl tickets? I know, I know — Nebraska vs. Auburn doesn’t exactly hit close to…

Zito Finito

The Rangers offered Barry Zito $80 million. He said, “Thanks, but no thanks.” Surprise, surprise, surprise. T.R. Sullivan, former Rangers beat writer for the Startlegram, is reporting over at MLB.com that Barry Zito, the Oakland Athletics pitcher Texas was wooing, has opted to go elsewhere. Sullivan’s been told that Zito…

Happy New Team!

Josh Howard is a big part of the Mavs’ early-season success. Must be his magic headband. Remember earlier in 2006 when a certain local basketball team started 0-4 and a certain local sports columnist cautioned fans not to panic? You’re welcome. In case you’ve been too busy riding the Cowboys’…

Terrible Owens

T.O. must go. Because the only justification for stomaching Terrell Owens is a championship. And, after another egregious home loss in which their egocentric receiver dropped another key pass, the Dallas Cowboys aren’t going to win the Super Bowl. Selling your soul to Beelzebub for an NFL title is a…

Danks For Nuthin’

Adios, John Danks, we hardly knew ya. No, seriously. We don’t even know if this is a picture of John Danks. We’re just taking a shot in the dark here. I’d swear during baseball’s winter meetings earlier this month I heard Texas Rangers general manager Jon Daniels say something to…

No Mo’ Romosexuality

Till yesterday, I was going to suggest you visit these folks to fill any post-Christmas gift needs you might have missed; nothing says ho-ho-homer better than a “Romosexual” T-shirt. But after yesterday, no way does that seem like a good idea. The Cowboys QB played like the big-league rookie he…

Merry Effing Christmas!

Bill Parcells takes the blame for last night’s loss to the Eagles. Takes a big man — a very big man. Lemme see…nope, not there. Um, not there either. Maybe…uh-unh. Look for a shred of positivity from yesterday’s game at Texas Stadium, and you’ll come up emptier than Terry Hornbuckle’s…

Yes, Yes It Does Make Us “Crazy”

Saw Matt Pinto’s Dallas Mavs-L.A. Clippers preview and noticed this listed among Pinto’s “Five Things to Know About the Dallas Mavericks”: “Rapper Joe Budden mentioned Josh Howard’s error in Game 5 of the 2006 NBA Finals in the remix of Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Crazy.'” News to me, but, yup, he’s right;…

Mustang Mania?

Matt Doherty’s turning the Mustanks back into the Mustangs. Is it the holiday yet? Can we go home? First, a fancy library. Now, a legit basketball program? As Grandpa Bill Parcells says, it’s not time to get out the anointing oil just yet. But first-year head coach Matt Doherty at…

Rock Out With Your Hitchcock Out

Don’t know about you, but there’s one former Dallas coach I miss more than any other: Ken Hitchcock, ex of Your Dallas Stars. And, from an interview he gives in a forthcoming issue of Canadian general-interest mag Macleans, it would seem Hitch also misses Dallas — at least, those glory…

Desmond, um, Tutu?

This is Desmond Howard before his brain fell out of his head. Where’s the helmet when you need it? I take it back. Female sideline reporters are not the biggest wastes of time on TV. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Desmond Howard. Yes, that one. Won the Heisman…

Dodgeball

Suhhhhhnnnaaaap! With a bold, brilliant pop of its fingers, the University of North Texas placed its football program in good hands. Great hands. Skilled, innovative, virtuoso hands. Todd Dodge’s hands. “I believe we can win, win consistently and win big here,” Dodge said to a beaming, buzzing Mean Green Athletic…

All Stars?

Amos Lee is playing the NHL All-Star game at the AAC? There’s one more reason not to like hockey right there. Robert Randolph and The Family Band? The Wreckers? The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus? If your name isn’t Robert Wilonsky, stop me when you’ve heard of one. Amos Lee? Mary McBride?…

Santa Jerry

Who knew the Dallas Cowboys helmet actually features the star of Bethlehem? It was almost two years ago that Sports Illustrated’s Steve Rushin first wrote about then-14-year-old Tyler Kessler, whose life pretty much consisted of chemotherapy to treat his cancer and kidney dialysis necessary because his kidneys were failing. Tyler…

Tony, Let’s Go Bowling

Tony Romo’s in the Pro Bowl, along with QBs Drew Brees and Marc Bulger. That’s a sack lunch for ya. If you saw this day coming, you’re clairvoyant. And you should’ve cashed in. Tony Romo’s remarkable emergence was validated today as the quarterback was one of four Dallas Cowboys named…

You Know Who Likes Terrell Owens? Canadians. Dunno Why. Just Do.

I do believe the NFL’s due to announce its Pro Bowl roster shortly; Richie will chime in at the appropriate moment. Till then, here’s this football related nugget from north of the border, where the cold air apparently does strange things to people. Dig this: Terrell Owens had the best-selling…

Spit Happens

And, I’ll give you one guess who lobbed the loogie in Saturday’s Cowboys-Falcons game. Yep. Your hero and mine: Terrell Owens. I should be applauding Dallas’ gritty victory in Atlanta, acknowledging the Cowboys’ clinching of a playoff berth and previewing the Christmas Day showdown with the Philadelphia Eagles that will…

Put Up and Shut Up

Quick guess: Is this moment the happiest in Jerry Jones’ life or, uh, not so much? This just in: Terrell Owens admits he isn’t Superman. Yathink? Gawd. If you’re not going to Saturday’s titanic Southlake Carroll-Allen High School semifinal at Texas Stadium or eschewing mainstream menus and taking in America’s…

The Super Ball

Lamar Hunt, right, and then-NFL commissioner Pete Rozelle created the Super Bowl thanks to a tiny “super ball.” It was impossible not to like Lamar Hunt. At age 28 he took on the established National Football League with a new venture founded by a bunch of businessmen he self-mockingly called…

Rock ‘n’ Role

All he wants for Christmas is his two front feet. You’d wish for that too if, like 2-year-old Micah Diffee, you were born with disfigured legs bent backward and twisted like pretzels, the soles of your feet pressed against your bottom. “By far the toughest thing I’ve ever gone through,”…