So, What Did I Miss?

So, just at kickoff, the Internet in our Texas Stadium press box broke. Or something. Let’s catch up: *Cowboys’ fans started an “Eagles Suck!” chant before kickoff. Proud of you guys. Really. *Terence Newman did start after all. But so did Pacman. Roy Williams, notsamuch. Hmm. *Kicker Nick Folk’s kickoff…

The Inflatable Helmet Is Being Inflated

*Which means, of course, player introductions are here. It’s 76 degrees and gorgeous. The last season opener and the 28th and final Monday Night Football game in Texas Stadium history is upon us. And to think, I vividly remember when the pre-game entertainment consisted of nothing more than the stadium’s…

Keeping Up With the Joneses

On the back of the jerseys of Pacman Jones and Felix Jones: “Jones”. Not confusing to Cowboys’ fans. But don’t we usually differentiate identical last names with a first initial? Think Jerry Jones was too worried about what the photo-shoppers would’ve done with “F. Jones”? Don’t wanna go too far…

Terrell Owens: Role Model

T.O. vs. T.O. Cowboys’ receiver Terrell Owens will be on the cover of October’s Sports Illustrated. SI for Kids, that is. The special video game issue will feature T.O. and the Madden NFL ’09 version of T.O. interviewing each other. So, twice as nice? Or double trouble? — Richie Whitt…

Good News. Bad News.

The good: Cowboys cornerback Terence Newman is running around the field in warm-ups. Looks like he’ll play, but I bet he won’t start. The bad: Texas Stadium is blaring that annoying and — at least I thought — forgotten “Um-buh-rella-uh” song. Ay. Ay. Ay.– Richie Whitt…

Be Seated

Great for any media room. Or, for that matter, any room. Can’t help but be nostalgic as you walk around this ol’ joint before its final Monday Night Football game. My family had season tickets on the 8-yard line back when it opened in ’71. But, alas, we’re upon a…

Get Out Your Thesauresosesous

*Emmitt Smith is getting his sweaty brow dabbed from some ESPN underling. Apparently he’s about to provide some insight on the network’s pre-game show. Brace yourself. You’re about to endure one of the planet’s most unique translations of the English language. *Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb just jogged onto the field…

The Games Inside the Game

I think the post-game shows will center around a Cowboys’ blowout. As for the pre-game, ESPN will air a Jerry Jones-guided tour of his new Jonestown Coliseum. And halftime looks like it will be a nod to Hispanic Heritage Month, with mariachi dancers and, of course, the Cowboys’ cheerleaders. Expect…

Cue Journey

Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has arrived safely. He just took the field in his long-sleeved white shirt and — surprise — backwards cap. You knew it was him when the stadium speakers started blaring Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.”– Richie Whitt…

And Awaaaay We Go

You are looking live! At a mostly empty Texas Stadium! Check. Check. Testing. Sportatorium live blogging to commence in 3 … 2 … 1 … Parking lots: Packed. Stadium: Sparse. Field: Honestly, it’s uglier than ever. Old, dilapidated Texas Stadium will soon be a hole in the roof that becomes…

The ’Boys Will Be Boys Are Back

Jeff Pearlman’s book about the ’90s Cowboys may be better, but mine is, um, older? Don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s a little tussle between a couple decent football teams at Texas Stadium in, oh, about nine hours. If you’re more intellectual ponderer than face-painter, I’ve got a heavy-reading…

Three Dots and a Cloud of Dust …

Sorry, soccer is not available on this afternoon’s buffet. Or, really, ever. … I’m going to Eagles-Cowboys Monday night. Anyone interested in reading some live blogging from the game? Would look and feel something like this, but posted in real time. Seems like multiple multi-tasking to both watch the game…

What Might’ve Been, Longhorn Fans

Turns out, the University of Texas was toying with the thought of moving Saturday night’s game against Arkansas up to Dallas on Saturday. Alas, athletics director DeLoss Dodds said it weren’t meant to be “because of how many workers are needed to put on a game for 98,000 fans,” reports…

Sean Avery, You Had Us At “Dunno”

No doubt you’ve heard that Sean Avery, the latest and greatest (?) Dallas Star, is about to have his tenure at Vogue, where he served as an “intern” this summer, turned into a romantic comedy by New Line and the guys responsible for Journey to the Center of the Earth,…

This Just In: Dallas Ain’t All Too Smart

Try to follow along. Which, if you’re a City of Dallas leader or a Dallas Independent School District accountant, will be mondo difficult. First, because some bozos don’t know how to subtract the 4 and carry the 1, DISD announces a $64 million shortfall. That’s shortfall. Opposite of windfall. Blamed…

Are You Ready For Some (Monday Night) Football?

Cowboys. Eagles. Monday Night Football. September. All that’ll be missing is these guys. Remember September? I do. Especially when the Dallas Cowboys played on Monday Night Football. I know, it’s not the same these days on ESPN as it was in the glory days back on ABC, but it’s still…

Chin Music

Bruised ribs. Stitched chin. Multiple penalties. Super start. In last Sunday’s NFL season opener in Cleveland, the Dallas Cowboys were missing two of their top four receivers, their starting left guard and a Pro Bowl cornerback. They didn’t, however, miss a beat. In their most dominant debut in 10 years,…

ESPN: Now Also Jess-Obsessed

Look, at this point we’re just killing time till the 4 p.m. emergency press conference at DISD HQ on Ross Ave., from which Intern Courtney will likely report back with the bad news that the district’s suddenly “$64 million and change” in the hole, says one source with whom we’ve…

Romo Finally Talks About Jessica

Aren’t they so cuuute together?! Jessica ain’t bad, either. Ramiro Romo, that is. While the quarterback with the stitched-up chin continues an “I don’t talk about my personal life” vow, Tony’s dad opened up a teensy weensy bit to NBC 5’s Newy Scruggs recently. Says pops of son’s girlfriend, “To…

Out House

The Cowboys’ former battering-ram fullback is now also the Cowboys’ former Director of Alumni Affairs. At a time when memories of past Dallas Cowboys regularly come rushing in, former running back Robert Newhouse is out. While trying to track down former players to share their Texas Stadium recollections, it came…