Cowboys’ Winter Wonderland

You can no longer get your boots at Western Warehouse. Mark Cuban is actually being pursued by a creditor. Oklahoma won a college football beauty contest over Texas. And there is a black man in the White House. Our city—our world—is incredibly inverted. To which the Dallas Cowboys say, rubbing…

Sean Avery Apologizes!

This just in from Sean Avery, via his L.A.-based publicist, concerning the comments that got him indefinitely banned, at least till his meeting with National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman tomorrow:”I would like to sincerely apologize for my off-color remarks to the press yesterday from Calgary. I should not have…

Jose Juan Barea Actually Helps Mavs Win a Game

I’ve been rough on the Mavs’ J.J. Barea.For being no taller than me. For looking like the runner-up in the Minyard ball boy contest.And for being the miniature version of Shawn Bradley. As in, you can’t take any team seriously that gives him quality minutes.But lookie here, the little fella…

Star on Ice, or: Trying to Put Sean Avery’s Suspension in Context

Below, as you can see, we’ve added the video containing the, um, sloppy remarks for which Dallas Star Sean Avery received his indefinite suspension last night from National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman. Meanwhile, back in New York, Newsday’s Arthur Staples is among those calling out the commish and Stars…

Sean Avery Got Suspended? For What?!

“Sloppy seconds”? That’s all he said? You’re shitting me, right?I could’ve sworn Sean Avery played professional hockey, not pre-school hopscotch.Avery, signed by the Dallas Stars to be a well-dressed, sharp-tongued agitator, was suspended indefinitely by the NHL last night for daring to utter a phrase you can hear on Jon…

Devin v. Kidd at the 1/5th Mark

   Was catching up on some NBA last week and could’ve sworn I saw:   *Jason Kidd make two crucial 3-pointers in the final minutes of a Mavs’ win over the Pacers.   *Devin Harris swish a late triple to force overtime of a Nets’ win in Sacramento, a couple nights before…

For $15,000, You Too Can Move Your RV Into TMS’ Burnout Alley

Texas Motor Speedway announced today it’s ditching some 21,022 seats on the backstretch, which’ll put the track’s total number of butts allowed at right around 138,000. ESPN says it’s because of “the economic recession that has affected most tracks which play host to NASCAR events.” But TMS president Eddie Gossage…

Jonestown Coliseum Taking Prisoners, er, Applications

     The Dallas Cowboys have already sold 85 percent of the tickets to their new stadium in Arlington.   Go ahead, act surprised. But, deep down, did you really think Jerry Jones would have trouble selling out his new Jonestown Coliseum?   I didn’t.   I went to Circuit City last week…

Thanksgiving Leftovers

   *Cowboys 34, Seahawks 9. Toldja.    *Isn’t it great to have a quarterback who makes plays when plays aren’t there to be made? I’m thankful, Tony Romo. Very thankful.   *Turkey sure was good, but the digestion process and my blowout-induced nap was uncomfortably disrupted by Marion Barber’s right foot and…

The Top 10 Most Memorable Cowboys’ Thanksgiving Games

   I could get my premature Scrooge on and predict that Pacman Jones showing up at last night’s Mavericks-Pacers game is a precursor to him – surprise! – eschewing voluntary house arrest to ultimately find more trouble.   But I won’t do that. Not today. On Thanksgiving eve let’s just be…

Jonas Brothers Predict Dallas Cowboys Thanksgiving Day Victory!

Gather the kiddies ’round the warm glow of the computer monitor: The Jonas Brothers were on CNN this morning! And they were sitting on the field at Texas Stadium, where, tomorrow, they’ll perform during halftime of Cowboys-Seahawks to kick off the Salvation Army’s Red Kettle Christmas charity campaign. Incidentally, this…

Terrell Owens Not Good Enough to Duplicate Feat. No Way. No How.

   My son hates green beans.   Faced with a plate of them, he’ll eat a couple, suck on a couple more, tear two or three apart and, ultimately, smash/push his veggies into a pile and pronounce: “Done!”   Unless, of course, I consult the Parenting 101 guide and resort to reverse…

Three Dots and a Cloud of Dust …

   *If you’ve noticed some quirky fonts or crooked pictures this week it’s because Sportatorium is taking a fancy schmancy new software program for a test drive. Cool thing for you customers is that if you see a pic you’d like to see even bigger – like, I dunno, maybe…

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Unveil Calendar/Skin

    I wasn’t at Saturday’s party unveiling this year’s Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders’ Swimsuit Calendar at the Gaylord Texan. But, for some reason, the mayor of Nayarit, Mexico was.  And now, thanks to our friendly lil’ slideshow, you can be there too. — Richie Whitt…

Cowboys 35, 49ers 22

The good news: Terrell Owens put up. The bad news: Now he’ll never shut up. With the smoke not yet cleared from his obnoxious — but not even a little bit surprising — interview with instigator Deion Sanders on NFL Network, T.O. produced his best day in a Cowboys’ uniform…

Stars’ Captain Brenden Morrow = Torn ACL. Ouch.

Won’t be seeing this for a while. And, honestly, probably won’t be hearing alot about the Stars, either. Hate to head into the weekend on a downer, but this is pretty significant – and bad – news. Stars’ captain Brenden Morrow, the team’s heart and soul, is out for at…

Why Is Terrell Owens Wearing an Eagles Shirt on the NFL Network?

Last night, during halftime of the Cincinnati Bengals-Pittsburgh Steelers game on the NFL Network (I will watch any game played in snow, sorry), Deion Sanders sneak-peeked his Sunday-morning chitchat with Terrell Owens. You can catch a so-so video capture after the jump, or get the crystal-clear here. It’s worth watching…

So, What Were You Doing 21 Years Ago Today?

Ah, the good ol’ days. When Dallas actually lifted sports trophies. Can’t say that I have a vivid memory of it, but apparently I was trying to trick Fort Worth Star-Telegram readers into thinking I knew a little something about indoor soccer and the defending MISL champion Dallas Sidekicks. Back…

Houston, We Have a … Three-Game Winning Streak?

5-7 is looking pretty good right about now, huh? When you get a break from resurrecting the Cowboys, take a minute to not bury the Mavericks either. On the brink of a 2-8 start Monday night, the Mavericks last night beat the Rockets in Houston for their third consecutive victory…

Cowboys Are Back on Track

One foot was in the grave. “Or bust” was engulfing “Super Bowl.” The Dallas Cowboys, fame and fortune and forecasts be damned, were careening toward the most disappointing, disastrous season in franchise history. They still might end up there, just not this week. Trailing the Washington Redskins 7-0 late in…