(Definitely Not) America’s Team

This is the controversial film Mark Cuban’s about to distribute. Discuss. You know you want to. Wrap yourself in the flag, slap another “Support Our Troops” magnet on your pickup and crank the Toby Keith, ‘cuz this is gonna test every last drop of your American red blood. Doubly so…

So Here’s To You, Mr. Robinson

Robinson Tejeda will pitch Your Texas Rangers’ home opener in a few days. Oh…joy? The Rangers’ pitching staff looks decent — which, putting it in perspective, means it’s as good as any time since the late 1990s. Kevin Millwood’s a workhorse ace. Vicente Padilla is a bulldog. And newcomer Brandon…

Check That, Everything Isn’t Bigger In Texas

I dunno, maybe it’s because I’m all baseball-fevering out here at Rangers spring training. Or maybe I’m saving my basketball jones for the Mavs’ playoff run. Whatever, I just don’t have the March Madness this year. Watched some games last night at a crummy little sports bar in Peoria (where’s…

Red Bull

Last time, I bounded down the stairs into the exclusive basement of Sipango for his going-away party. “Jay-SOWN!” I crowed, an obnoxious nod to our mutual affinity for Adam Sandler’s “Cajun Man” character on Saturday Night Live. This time, I wait for an hour in a secluded conference room at…

So-So Sosa

MESA, ARIZONA — I come to you today live from HoHoKam Park, better known as Wrigley West. It’s the little ballpark here where the Chicago Cubs hibernate in the winter. The quaint joint is littered with retirees with bald heads, beer bellies and baseball scorebooks. There are as many walkers…

Popeye Jones Musta Taken His Spinach

Last night, before the Mavs throttled the Knicks in NYC, somebody with a video cam was recording Erick Dampier taking a few warm-up shots. What they caught was something accidentally spectacular: this shot by former Mav-turned-Dallas assistant coach Popeye Jones, who’s one of four on the player development staff. In…

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

Is it us, or does Eric Gagne look like Seth Rogen from The 40-Year-Old Virgin? SURPRISE, ARIZONA — No, this guy didn’t show up and go dumb yesterday afternoon here at Texas Rangers spring training. But this guy went deep. Twice. Which, for a team in desperate need of some…

The Dallas Maverick vs. The New York Prick

Maybe you saw the Mavs blow out the Knicks last night; if not, it was a typical Dallas ‘dozer, 92-77 over a catastrophucked NY team somehow still in the playoff hunt at 30-37. Which puts Your Dallas Mavericks at 55 wins for the season thus far; most NBA franchises won’t…

Crazy Ray’s Memorial Service is Open to the Public

The Dallas Cowboys just put on their Web site plans for a memorial service in honor of Wilford “Crazy Ray” Jones — the team’s “unofficial mascot of 44 years” who died Saturday morning at the age of 76. If you’re so inclined, it will take place at 10 a.m. this…

Mount Modano

I didn’t come here today to lament the transformation of my March Madness bracket into toilet paper, to publicly apologize to anyone I might have maimed with a well-intended string of beads during Saturday’s St. Paddy’s Parade or to rehash Monday night’s 16-10 loss by the Dallas Observer co-ed softball…

The Texas Rangers: By Disappointing, They Do Not Disappoint

Diamond in the rough: Formerly a Rangers pitching-prospect great, Thomas Diamond will now miss the entire 2007 season. It wasn’t so long ago that Thomas Diamond, Edinson Volquez and John Danks were going to be the one-two-three punch of the Texas Rangers’ pitching rotation. They even had their own nickname:…

Crazy For Ray

DallasCowboys.com As a wide-eyed kid lucky enough to hitch a ride to Dallas Cowboys games at the Cotton Bowl and later Texas Stadium atop dad’s shoulders, one of the highlights of any given Sunday was the good guy wearing the black hat. You could hear his piercing whistle — a…

The Lean Green

In about eight minutes or so, please send UNT coach Johnny Jones your warmest wishes and prayers. He and his team will need them so. Take it from a guy who’s in 1,106,094th place in ESPN’s bracket contest, the University of North Texas has a real shot today (as in,…

Justice Is, Um, Served? Everything Else, Not So Much.

I’ve been a little busy filling out an NCAA Tournament bracket you can cheat off of (long as we split the pot, cool?). But either I missed something or uncovered something, because it sure looks, feels, smells and sounds like Nellie’s Sports Bar has gone the way of Medici and…

Noooooo-Witzki

Maybe it’s time the Mavs’ would-be MVP got his Dirk out of the box and played some friggin’ crunchtime ball. You can talk about Steve Nash’s heroics, Amare Stoudemire’s monster game or countless, game-changing, mind-boggling, heart-palpitating plays in what was undoubtedly the best NBA game of the season. But most…

American Eagle

Memphis hasn’t lost a basketball game since Britney Spears needed a comb and Sammy Sosa needed a contract; it has the nation’s longest winning streak at 22. North Texas toils in a conference (Sun Belt) that doubles as a fanny pack worn by Florida retirees. Memphis last year came within…

Metroplex Monopoly

We always forget Greg Ostertag went to Duncanville. Then, we always forget Greg Ostertag. Teardrop. In December, Cedar Hill and Southlake Carroll swept the high school football championships in the state’s two largest classes. Last week Fort Worth Dunbar and Rockwall nabbed the girls’ two biggest classes in basketball. And…

C.J. Wilson Appears to Have a Very Bad Sense of Humor

Anyone seen Deadspin today — by which I mean this particular item about Texas Rangers reliever C.J. Wilson and the photo he (allegedly, since we’re so into covering our asses) posted to his pal Brandon McCarthy’s MySpace page? (It’s the February 1 posting, if you’re so inclined.) Yeah, just checking…

Deja Boo?

The only guy standing between the Mavs winning 16 straight is this little dude. Believe it. We’ve been here before. Sorta. Almost two months ago to the day, the Mavs waltzed into Lakerland with a big winning streak and got stung by somebody named Sasha Vujacic. Back then it was…

Prince Peruna

Don’t judge SMU’s basketball season by what happened on the court. Rather, go by what’s happening a couple hundred feet below it. “That hole in the ground,” says first-year coach Matt Doherty, “is the future of our program.” No, smartass, it’s not a mass grave reserved for the latest crop…