Sports

Because this NBA Playoffs promo, featuring Steve Nash and Jason Kidd, is freaking me out, man. –Robert Wilonsky…

Dallas Stars OK, sure, we believe, already. For now, anyway. After spending their first and only day over .500 in the Ron Washington Era, the Texas Rangers got swept at home by the Toronto Blue Jays over the weekend. Even more humiliating, they found a pitcher worse than Chan Ho…

At first he wanted to be a Dallas Cowboy; then, the Dallas Cowboys kinda-sorta wanted him to be a Dallas Cowboy. Then it seemed like the prospect of Adam “Pacman” Jones becoming a Dallas Cowboy had diminished and disappeared altogether. Only, comes word out of Tennessee today that, well, if…

Liverpool FC chief executive Rick Parry One day after Tom Hicks demanded the resignation of Rick Parry — chief executive of Liverpool FC, which Hicks co-owns with frienemy George Gillett Jr. — the English newspapers have pretty much had it with the Ugly Dallasite. Says The Sun in one piece…

Chances are your lingering memory of Dave Campo is: A) Inexplicably going for one point, instead of two, on Thanksgiving Day 2001. B) Karaoke singing “I’ve got sunshine…on a cloudy day” during HBO’s 2002 Hard Knocks. C) 5-11. 5-11. 5-11. D) All of the above. Ready or not, the worst…

Dallas Stars I spent Tuesday out at Dallas Stars practice, which, I know, surprises some of you in that, whaddya know, they’re still playing hockey these days. In preparation for tonight’s Game 1 of their playoff series against the defending champion Anaheim Ducks, I came away with a couple things…

Liverpool FC chief executive Rick Parry Seems Tom Hicks just don’t get it. Because just two days after his Liverpool FC kicked its way into the Champions League semi-finals, the Texas Rangers and Dallas Stars’ owner is demanding that Liverpool chief executive Rick Parry step down. Like, immediately. Hence, this…

Every now and then I wonder whatever became of Pete Incaviglia, probably my fourth-favorite Texas Ranger of all time. Of course, I need wonder no more: He’s the manager of the Grand Prairie AirHogs of the American Association of Independent Professional Baseball, which makes its bow May 8 with an…

Kevin Scanlon Carl Everett, back when he was a Texas Ranger I see that Deadspin just posted a locker-room story from “former Dallas Observer reporter John Gonzalez,” whoever he is. It’s more or less a rehashing of this column John wrote for the paper version of Unfair Park way, way…

Note to Tom Hicks, surely a reader of blogs: Really, it’s totally fine. You could have stayed in England today, for Liverpool FC’s Champions League match against Arsenal. No need to rush home for the Texas Rangers’ 1:05 p.m. first-pitch home-opener against the Baltimore Orioles. Sure, it’s nice of you…

June Jones The Honolulu Star-Bulletin hired college ball writer Mark Wangrin to spend a few days with SMU football head coach June Jones — to see how, ya know, he was digging life on the mainland. Turned into a two-part piece that started yesterday and ends today. Probably the most…

City Pointe Golf Center Richie’s done found himself a new place to take his balls. Evidenced by my crisp little 88 at this primo track last week, I need some help. For a longer sex drive, I’ll go here. But for a longer golf drive, I’ll be here. Honestly, I…

I could come in here and pour my glass-half-empty pessimism on you. Tell you how the Mavs’ 111-86 victory last night came against a team playing its fourth game in five nights. Remind you that, with weekend road games at the Los Angeles Lakers and Phoenix Suns, a two-game losing…

Andy Roddick, T.O.’s lil’ buddy New York Times sports columnist Bill Rhoden this morning details a most “unlikely friendship”: Austin’s tennis hotshot Andy Roddick and Dallas Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens. This week the two are hanging out at the Sony Ericsson Open in Florida, where Roddick’s playing and Owens is…

Don’t buy the martyrdom. Because Dallas’ Only Daily is selling you a knock-off. In an ironic twist, turns out Dallas Morning News reporter Tim MacMahon got himself temporarily banned from the Dallas Mavericks’ locker room because, in part, he failed to go into the Dallas Mavericks’ locker room. The Morning…

Back in October I wrote about a good guy and a great coach named Kevin Keane, who got politically blackballed by the Dallas Parochial League. In working that story it became disgustingly obvious that DPL athletics fall somewhere between sorely mismanaged and downright corrupt. In the months since the column…

A couple of days back, we broke the, ah, news that Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones had come up with the world’s most unique timeshare out at Jerryworld: You and some friends could purchase a single ticket for a Cowboys game, then take turns going into the new Arlington stadium…

Now we know why Nolan Ryan’s the president of Your Texas Rangers: to move his meat. The headline of the release says it all, in capital letters: “TEXAS RANGERS ANNOUNCE PARTNERSHIP WITH NOLAN RYAN BEEF.” As in, “The Texas Rangers announced today that all concession stands, suites and fine dining…

So you’re saying wearing one of these will not get you into the Mavericks’ locker room, then? Damn it. I’ll have much more on Bloggergate in this week’s paper version of Unfair Park. (Wait till you get a load of how the thing really started.) But this morn’ I get…

Speaking of Jerryworld, as we were below, a Friend of Unfair Park sent his missus to a meet-and-greet with the Dallas Cowboys’ owner last week. During that chat — with “prominent citizens,” says our Friend — Jerry Jones offered this novel approach to dealing with the exorbitant prices being charged…

Kevin Millwood, the Rangers’ … um … ace? Sure, we’ll go with “ace.” One season commencing and another, um, crashing? Tonight on Fox Sports Net Southwest you can watch Your Texas Rangers begin another march toward mediocrity in their season opener against the Seattle Mariners at 5:40, followed by your…

Forbes this morning features the “10 New Super-Stadiums” under construction ’round the world, and turns out that the billion-buck, under-construction Jerryworld in Arlington ranks No. 3 on the list, which is parsed by price tags, behind the New York Giants’ new Meadowlands stadium ($1.3 billion) and the New York Yankees’…