Dispatch from Dorkus Malorkus

And, yes, this is where we remind you there’s also a Star Wars 30th anniversary shindig tomorrow night in Grand Prairie. In the spirit of my continuing crusade to never get laid again — you’ll note that I began this journey yesterday, with the publication of my most recent column…

Dallas, You’re an “Opportunity City”

Urban trends expert Joel Kotkin thinks Dallas has it going on. Houston too. And Atlanta. Charlotte also. But, still, Dallas, you’re awesome. You may have seen this story from the Dallas Business Journal on Wednesday, in which it says a new study shows that “Dallas, along with Houston, Phoenix, Atlanta…

An Iron Chef Moves to the Stoneleigh

The Stoneleigh Hotel — pardon, the The Stoneleigh Hotel & Spa — today announced that some fine new folks have come over to run the joint, which is currently in the midst of a $28-mil makeover, and if their names aren’t familiar, their former places of employ certainly are. New…

Mandi Perkins is No Mark Farner

All I know about Los Angeles-based singer-songwriter Mandi Perkins I just learned from her MySpace page — and this video she shot Wednesday night, after she and her band played Club Dada. To wash that out of our minds, here’s a just-posted-to-YouTube clip of Grand Funk Railroad performing “Are You…

It Must Be the Money?

Yesterday evening, we heard from Ken Carter, one of Don Hill’s closest campaign advisors back when 43 people were running for mayor. Carter denied Ed Oakley’s allegations — which he made again to our own Matt Pulle last night — that Hill’s people went to Oakley and Tom Leppert to…

Do We Still Have to Vote Next Week?

Well, he did it again. Last night at a mayoral forum at Paul Quinn College, Ed Oakley boasted that his campaign has such a broad range of support that both the NAACP and Harlan Crow have endorsed him. And this time, Oakley was half right. Setting up the most awkward…

Some Things For Reading and Knowing

This is the photo that appears with the ABC News story on Ed Oakley. All I can think about is, Does Ed have the same trouble with that pair of Nike glasses as I do? ABC News wants you to know: Ed Oakley is gay. Most commenters to said story…

Show Us the Money!

So, if you don’t endorse Ed Oakley, you’re taking money from Tom Leppert. At least, that’s the impression you get from reading the daily and its Bold Types blog today. Says it right here: Mr. Oakley also said members of Mr. Hill’s former mayoral campaign approached him last month and…

D Home? You’re So On Notice.

Specifically you, executive editor Rebecca Sherman. C’mon, Rebecca, but during your tenure at the paper version of Unfair Park, didn’t anyone ever teach you not to piss off crazy people — especially those who speak Masonic? –Merritt Martin…

Suck It, Austin. We’re Takin’ Over!

I was in Austin a few weeks back and noticed for the first time a spot in downtown that looked remarkably and disturbingly familiar — like, oh, the West Village, say. Turns out, that ain’t too far off the mark, and some folks down in the Capitol City aren’t terribly…

Little Boxes

Since December, the city’s been contemplating an ordinance that would “ban distribution boxes not conforming to rigid standards for size, color and material.” Looks like it’s about to happen — thank God too, because newspaper boxes are all that stands between a shithole and a class act. But you know…

Speaking in Tongues

Calling all ballers: Tonight’s Ludacris/Ne-Yo concert at Nokia has been canceled because of “a scheduling conflict,” which, when translated from publicist-speak, means “Dude, we didn’t sell any tickets.” This brings up an interesting point. Publicist-speak is a tricky thing. Often the common, hard-working layman, the one who works his fingers…

The Force is With You, But Did You Bring Your Credit Card?

Just got back from taking the missus and the 4ish-year-old who lives in our house to a preview of the Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination exhibit, which opens Saturday at the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History. The kid dug it — and why not, since it’s essentially…

Those Freed-Man Blues

It’s a nightmare that has provided rich fodder for a host of myths, stories and movies (think Shawshank Redemption) — rotting in prison for a crime you did not commit. Which is why, a couple years ago, when Dallas Blues Society Records’ Chuck Nevitt saw a lawyer he knew on…

WTF, NYT?

Today’s the day that will long be remembered as the day 27-year-old auditor Landon Yeager told the world he has soft, minty lips. Too bad he’s married, ladies. And how do we know this? For The New York Times tell us so: He carries one in his pocket, said Landon…

Making a Killin’ Off Kennedy

A couple of JFK-related item this a.m… First off, have you heard the one about Don McElroy, a funeral home worker who loaded President Kennedy’s casket into a hearse at Parkland Hospital? He claims he has the original death certificate that was tossed after a few minor typos — “600…

A Trafficking Jam

Federal and local law enforcement officials in Vicksburg, Mississippi, rounded up eight folks accused of running a major crack and cocaine trafficking ring; there’s another man on the loose. How major was it? Reports the Associated Press, undercover agents “purchased 380 grams of crack [and] seized three kilograms of cocaine…

Piggy Goes to Town

Tim Scholz pulls his white pickup off to the side of the road in rural Ellis County. He’s 30 miles south of Dallas, out in hog-hunting country. He gets out, jumps onto the flatbed of his truck and scans the horizon with a pair of Bushnell binoculars. Rain has been…

Cheaters Never Win?

Your taxes. Your spouse. Your diet. Your résumé. Your handicap. Your death? Chances are you’ve cheated on one of them. If not, how about the time you scurried across the street instead of using the crosswalk? That day you sneaked 12 items through the 10-or-fewer grocery line? The iPod music…

Huzzah!

It’s been pouring rain for three days—a real toad strangler, as members of my East Texas family would say—but that isn’t stopping thousands of people from spending their Memorial Day holiday prancing around outside in lace corsets, spandex tights and capes. What’s a little rain when there are jousts to…

Pirates of the Council |Hardee Har |Past Tense |And Finally

Pirates of the Council Is it safe?: “The Good Laura”—perfect title for Jim Schutze’s article (May 31) exposing Bill Blaydes’ ruthlessness and Ed Oakley’s incredible disregard for individual property rights. Folks, they can come after your property if they can do what Blaydes with Oakley’s assistance tried to do to…

Ringing Up Baby

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Jennifer Potter. While she resided with her outwardly happy blond family in Los Angeles County, she lived mostly in her mind. When she grew up, she would remember things that other people said never happened. She would use different names, depending…