A Horse is Not a Course

In hot, sweltering day in August of 2005, Robert Eldridge gave me a tour of his Kaufman County neighborhood. It was the worst tour of my life. Eldridge lives in an African-American neighborhood in nearby Kaufman across the street from Dallas Crown, one of only three horse slaughtering plants in…

Scenes From An SPCA

The blog editor’s away, so cats will play on Unfair Park. When I was growing up, my family had as many as 10 and as few as 5 cats at any given time. Usually, they found us, showing up on the back porch looking for kitty chow, a warm bed…

Gatorade Gullibility

Late last night, while pretending to watch the Australian Open but in reality merely ogling this chick, someone from my past popped onto the screen. OK, it’s the extremely recent past, but the irony of Bill Parcells’ presence just made me want to forget him that much quicker. Way back…

That Lord Vishnu Movie? Not So Fast.

David Gordon Green, originally slated to direct Will Clarke’s novel, is off to, uh, greener pastures. Ran into David Gordon Green the other day– ya know, the Richardson-reared maker of such indie films as George Washington, All the Real Girls and the debuted-at-Sundance Snow Angels, starring Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell…

Welcome Back, Earthlings

While the Mavericks are becoming as automatic as blinking — would you believe 21-1 since December 13? — Dallas’ amateur basketball team has kinda, sorta been issued an ugly reality check. Once upon a time, first-year coach Matt Doherty and his scrappy ‘Stangs were off to a magical season. Turns…

Re: The Next Head Coach of the Dallas Cowboys Will Be…

Just got off the phone will a Valley Ranch birdie that chastised me for not including Jim Bates on my list. Bates, who recently took a job as the Broncos’ assistant head coach, served as the Cowboys’ linebackers coach in the late ’90s. He’s a friend of Jerry Jones, a…

Bring It On

Hey, Superintendent Michael Hinojosa, that’s quite a spokesman you got there. Celso Martinez works as the spokesperson for DISD, where his job is to explain to the public how the school district goes about educating its students. Lately, my job has been to write about DISD, particularly how it goes…

Why, Billy Crudup Is a Golden God…and a Hillcrest Panther

This is what Billy Crudup looks like today — seriously, exactly like this, like, an hour ago. But we’d love to see his yearbook pic, Friends. For years I’d always heard that Billy Crudup — you know, the Golden God from Almost Famous — had attended Hillcrest High School. There…

Renewal Notice

Some people will believe anything. As Bible Girl has pointed out once or twice, Pentecostalism, the much maligned and misunderstood branch of Christianity, is growing at a phenomenal rate around the globe. A recent survey by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life found that Pentecostals and Charismatics, or…

The Next Head Coach of the Dallas Cowboys Will Be …

Mystery date: Will he be a stud or a dud? Planned on posting this at sunrise, but my Parcells Party ran later than expected. And by “later than expected”, I mean 3 � tuna sandwiches, two bottles of bubbly and 2:37 a.m. Before moving on to coaching candidates, though, it…

Bend It Like Beck

I don’t know what freaking season we’re in with American Idol now — all’s I know is I think they hooked up a special Bat phone in the Sudan for the refugees to phone in their votes — but you guys need to check out this gem from Season Four…

The Best Obituary Ever

This is a photo of Howard Forbes, whose wife gave him one of the greatest send-offs we’ve read in a long, long time. A somber way to begin the day, perhaps, but the missus rang me in Park City, Utah, this morning to direct my attention to, of all things,…

The Buffalo Will Not Die This Week

Buffalo Chambers will not die on Thursday, thanks to a Supreme Court justice. Many years ago, Mark Donald and I wrote about a man named Ronald “Buffalo” Chambers for the paper version of Unfair Park. I thought this item, from December 13, would be the last (or next-to-last) thing I…

Room with a Beef

Veuve, the sprawling 10,000-square-foot restaurant and concomitant hip vibe lounge Nine7Two on Belt Line Road (in the former Django space), is no more. It was felled by trademark infringement over the famed yellow-labeled Veuve Cliquot Champagne. It seems Veuve Cliquot parent Louis Vuitton Moet Hennessy, the luxury brands group that…

Attorney for the..um…Defense?

One can’t help but think that Entre Karage might have a different opinion about former prosecutor Tom D’Amore. Many attorneys have an inflated view of themselves, but Tom D’Amore takes lawyerly arrogance to a new level. After new District Attorney Craig Watkins canned the 19-year-veteran prosecutor, D’Amore whined that he…

Open Letter To The Jerks Who Broke Into My Car Last Night

Dear Jerkwads: Assume the position. Dear Two White Or Hispanic Males Who Broke Into My Car Last Night For What I Suspect Is The Second Time In Two Months But Who Were Finally Successful In Relieving Me Of My Crappy Mid-’90s After-Market Car CD Player (Congrats!), Allow me to introduce…

The King is Dead…Long Live the Cowboys

Shocking, but oh-so-sweet. Bill Parcells sent joyful shock waves through Cowboyville minutes ago when the head coach announced he was resigning. In a statement, released through the team, Parcells said: “I am retiring from coaching football. I want to thank Jerry Jones and Stephen Jones for their tremendous support over…

Ssssh, All-Star Game Sleeping

With Bill Parcells in limbo, the Bears and Colts in the Super Bowl and the Dallas Mavericks in first place, does anyone care that the NHL All-Star Game is in town? Under the cover of wintry mix, the showpiece of America’s No. 4 sport sneaked into Dallas and will this…

Aaron is Gone

Spc. Aaron Preston’s job in Iraq was to find, secure and destroy or dismantle IEDs. One killed Preston and two other soldiers Christmas Day. On Saturday night at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, I saw a movie called Grace is Gone, starring John Cusack. It is about…

Hi, Craig

Craig Miller of KTCK-AM (1310, The Ticket) sends this brief missive concerning his phrase “sardine theory” becoming a part of the Dallas Police Department lexicon: “I am honored that my sardine theory has gone mainstream. In 100 years, I believe most will point to this moment as the springboard to…