Damage Control

Though he takes a beating early on, watching his wife and son die in an embassy bombing carried out by Marxist, drug-running Colombian terrorists, it isn’t long before Arnold Schwarzenegger is striding through the jungles of Colombia as if on a Stairmaster, ignoring admonitions that to do so is “frickin’…

Big Fat Mistake

A bland, obnoxious 88-minute infomercial for Universal Studios and its ancillary products, chief among them birthday boy E.T. (due for re-release this spring) and the studio tour, this is a kids film for children who won’t shut up; it’s loud enough to be heard over the deafening chatter of restless…

And Finally…

This epic series of 10 hour-long films, each based on one of the Ten Commandments, finishes up with a rare note of whimsy. But first Kieslowski revs up the emotional wringer one last time for episode IX, “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife,” in which a doctor must face…

Red Snare

You’ve got to hand it to any romantic comedy that makes The Mexican and the Sweet November remake seem like enduring classics, which appears to be the chief objective of Birthday Girl. This slipshod sophomore effort from Jez Butterworth (Mojo) has been sitting on the shelf since its original release…

Cheaters Never Win

Despite an energetic performance from Rushmore’s Jason Schwartzman and a flash of nudity from Pearl Harbor babe James King, Slackers sucks. There’s simply no one to like: Schwartzman’s lovesick nerd Ethan is revealed to be an obsessive psychopath, while the cool guys he must compete with for the love of…

Culture Clash

In May 1997, conductor Zubin Mehta recruited Zhang Yimou (Raise the Red Lantern) to mount a stage presentation of Puccini’s final opera, Turandot, which was based on an old Chinese story. “Usually,” Mehta says, “Turandot is full of Chinese clichés…it looks like a big Chinese restaurant.” So it seemed like…

Heaven Awaits

Sometimes the cinema is just heavenly, and this is one of those times. Returning in a beautifully restored print, with new subtitles, is Federico Fellini’s first color masterpiece (from 1965), bursting with unruly insights on ardor and release. The director’s stout and gleaming wife, Giulietta Masina, plays the leading lady…

Moral Dilemma

Originally made for Polish TV in 1987, and seen only sporadically at special festival and museum showings, Kieslowski’s epic series of 10 hour-long films, each based on one of the Ten Commandments, continues with two episodes. Episode VII, “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” raises the question of whether or not it’s…

Tasty Danish

To call a movie the most accessible Dogme 95 film ever made is not merely damning with faint praise. It also threatens to alienate the two segments of the population that might consider going to see such a film in the first place: fans of the back-to-basics, no-frills-of-any-kind Danish filmmaking…

Czech Marked

All those war epics the big movie studios are rushing into release are certainly meant to reflect the present national mood, and if We Were Soldiers or Behind Enemy Lines or Black Hawk Down also happens to strike it rich, that will be fine with the box-office bean-counters. It was…

Sam I Slam

Sean Penn began 2001 by directing one of the year’s most deeply felt films, The Pledge, in which a frazzled, disconnected Jack Nicholson played a retired cop obsessed with solving the rape and murder of a young girl. He ended it by acting in one of the year’s most woefully…

Heavy Stuff

The air of danger that surrounds Catherine Breillat’s Fat Girl (À Ma Soeur) never lets up, which is unusual for a film that doesn’t mean to be a thriller. Rather, it’s a merciless look at adolescent insecurity, the mixed signals of emerging desire and the ruthlessness of carnal gamesmanship that,…

Count Down

There is nothing terribly wrong with Kevin Reynolds’ The Count of Monte Cristo, which the Internet Movie Database lists as the 18th remake of Alexandre Dumas’ tale of innocence betrayed and avenged. It is neither a drag nor a gas; it neither betrays its source material nor adheres too slavishly…

A Fine Affair

Australian director Ray Lawrence (best known here for the quirky 1985 comedy Bliss) provides some high-toned soap opera nicely flavored with a touch of suspense and some well-timed jolts of humor. Playwright Andrew Bovell’s busy, busy screenplay is crammed with philandering police detectives, grief-stricken psychoanalysts, traumatized gay men, gloomy husbands…

Hero and Villain

Miguel Piñero was poet, playwright and actor–and thief, liar and junkie. He was in Sing Sing by his early 20s, the iconic leader of New York’s Puerto Rican artistic movement by 30, a dead junkie by 40; yet the causes for Piñero’s life trajectory remain largely unanswerable. Leon Ichaso’s new…

Moth-Eaten

Just in time to take our tired minds off the twin terrors of Osama and Enron comes The Mothman Prophecies, an enjoyable, if utterly stupid, upscale entry in the old Amityville Horror genre. (That is, a horror film allegedly based on spooky and inexplicable real-life events.) The fashionable sheen is…

Hell and Back

Ridley Scott’s Black Hawk Down, based on reporter Mark Bowden’s factual account of a 1993 U.S. Army operation gone dreadfully awry in Somalia, doesn’t just kick your ass. It pummels your entire body; it leaves you trembling. Once the premise and setting are established, this brutal combat adventure doesn’t catch…

Arabian Nightmare

It would be easy, and tempting, to hail Kandahar as a masterpiece without even seeing it: It’s a foreign film, it takes on social issues, it’s directed by Iranian master Mohsen Makhmalbaf, it speaks to the causes of our war on terror and first hit on U.S. shores right as…

Park Life

Who would have guessed that 31 years after M*A*S*H, the film that made Robert Altman’s reputation, he still would be turning out movies as good as his latest release, Gosford Park? Full of the director’s usual energy, powered by the sense of controlled chaos that marks all of his ensemble…

A Real Howler

Attended by a rather sexy air of intrigue, the hit French film Brotherhood of the Wolf (Le Pacte des Loups) arrives upon our shores, and, refreshingly, it’s left up to us to figure out just what the hell it is. Monster movie? Costume drama? Martial-arts extravaganza? To say the least,…

Spy, But Why?

Cate Blanchett can do no wrong, but even she can’t save Charlotte Gray, a World War II drama that never rises above the level of a 1950s-era adolescent romance novel. The Australian-born actress, who should have won an Academy Award for her performance in 1998’s Elizabeth, plays the titular character,…

All Thai’d Up

Bangkok Dangerous, by twin brothers Danny and Oxide Pang, is an aggressively commercial genre piece that, like some recent Korean releases, has been clearly influenced by the Asian gangster genre once dominated by the now-ailing Hong Kong industry. And if the Pang brothers’ goal is to demonstrate to the world…