Virtual Family

Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over continues a fine tradition of turning third installments of film series into three-dimensional efforts; Amityville 3-D and Jaws 3-D exploited the gimmick long before Robert Rodriguez made clever use of the numeral signifying the milking to death of a franchise. But what Rodriguez lacks–say, Tony…

He, Fellini

Everyone in his right mind loves Donald Sutherland. The spry 67-year-old boasts one of the most respectable acting résumés this side of Christopher Lee, so when he turns up in the documentary Fellini: I’m a Born Liar, he speaks with authority. Looking a bit dazed but generally enthusiastic, he waxes…

Heaven Sent

There’s magic in Northfork–both in the movie, by twin brothers Mark and Michael Polish, and in the Montana town soon to be drowned by the opening of the dam keeping the baptismal waters at bay. Northfork is a beguiling and bittersweet fantasy set in a netherworld where the living and…

Bad Boys of Dumber

There’s something to be said for a movie that’s honest enough to transcribe dialogue from the director’s mouth and incorporate it into the script. “Everybody start shooting at somebody!” yells Detective Mike Lowery (Will Smith) in the midst of a particular situation. Earlier, he gives the command to “drive that…

Con Heir

The heist-film genre, especially in recent years, practices the most blatant brand of cinematic swindle. It’s built on little more than pilfered plots and purloined characters, and the closer we inspect the goods the more we discover that the diamonds are phony, the bills counterfeit, the treasure utterly worthless. Who…

Bum Deal

So much for those crackpot theories about flighty teen-agers and their short attention spans. For four long years now the bland pop star Mandy Moore has stuck in the brainpan of white adolescent America like a wad of bubblegum, and there’s no sign she will loosen her grip anytime soon…

Minor League

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemenor LXG, as Fox refers to it, as though its the latest Lexus all-terrain vehiclewould have you think its the summer action movie with a brain; certainly, its literary allusions would have you believe it has visited more libraries than video-rental outlets. But the movie cant…

Reduced-Salt Dogs

To prepare for reviewing Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, I did the obvious research: I watched Yellowbeard again. Yes, yes indeed–can’t do without Fairbanks as The Black Pirate and Flynn as Captain Blood. But when appraising a new comedic pirate adventure, it’s important to consider…

Ozon Layered

French director Francois Ozon doesn’t like to repeat himself. His last film, 8 Women, was a theatrical, rather campy piece of fluff starring la crème de la crème of contemporary Gallic actresses. Before that came Under the Sand, an unsettling drama about a woman (Charlotte Rampling, giving perhaps her finest…

I Am Siam

If, in keeping with current fads, you seek movies featuring females kicking a bunch of ass, your appetite will be tended (and cultivated) at the multiplex all summer long. Wander into your local art-house, however, and you may find a fine, if somewhat challenging, import called The Legend of Suriyothai–billed…

Sidestep of the Machines

Much like “hilarious Islamic comedy” or “sublime Affleck picture,” the term “terrific second sequel” isn’t bandied about too much. Name one. Took you a minute, didn’t it? Don’t be ashamed–there are probably support groups for fans of Smokey and the Bandit III. Generally, creative juices are drained by parte trois,…

Dumb Blonde

ABC-TV has penciled into its 2004 schedule a series based on the 2001 film Legally Blonde, for which a pilot has been shot starring someone named Jennifer Hall in the Reese Witherspoon role of Elle Woods, the pretty-dumb-in-pink sorority girl-turned-whip-smart attorney. MGM, which owns the franchise, smartly decided to shoot…

Very Sinbad

DreamWorks’ Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas pulls into port but a week before Walt Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, the theme-park-ride-inspired, Jerry Bruckheimer-produced spectacle that bears a screenplay co-written by the very men responsible for last year’s Disney-made animated flop Treasure Planet, a…

The Young Girl and the Sea

Once in a while a film comes along that is as sound, smart, sweet and significant as can be, and Whale Rider is such a film. Fault the project on various counts if you like (I’ll try), but ultimately the tale is beyond reproach, a bane to cynics and a…

Fallen Angels

As the Columbia Pictures logo looms large in frame till its torch becomes the focal point, we find ourselves in what appears to be a tent full of sweaty medieval warriors forging axes, and have to wonder: Did they already make another Scorpion King movie and not tell us? No,…

Eye! Caramba!

There is one truly striking shock in the new made-in-Hong-Kong-by-Thai-directors horror flick The Eye, but unfortunately, directors Danny and Oxide (yes, Oxide) Pang saved the best for first. If the film’s opening moments don’t grab you, nothing will; the Pang brothers cut their teeth on commercials, and the first few…

Dead to Rights

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and it’s all PETA’s fault. Oh, we humored those wacky vegan extremists when they threw paint at rich bitches in hideously overpriced fur coats. We laughed when they’d come on conservative talk radio shows every Thanksgiving to get mocked for…

The Young Girl and the Sea

Once in a while a film comes along that is as sound, smart, sweet and significant as can be, and Whale Rider is such a film. Fault the project on various counts if you like (I’ll try), but ultimately the tale is beyond reproach, a bane to cynics and a…

Green Gobblin’

He’s 12 feet tall. He’s ripped. He’s quick as a tiger and fierce as a dragon. Lit by his fury to a dull green glow, the guy is sheer, boundless power. Any NFL team you can think of would love to start him at middle linebacker. But, as art house…

Family Affair

I purposely avoided reading anything about Capturing the Friedmans till seeing the film, which has been no easy task. Andrew Jarecki’s documentary, about a Great Neck, New York, family torn asunder in the late 1980s by allegations of kiddie-porn possession and the horrific sexual abuse of numerous children, has been…

Crap Out

The number of boring, uninspired studio pictures hitting today’s multiplexes is getting depressing. To add insult to injury, many of these mind-numbing creations come from formerly–and presumably still–talented writers, directors and actors. Last week saw Hollywood Homicide, a tired–and what’s worse, lazy–buddy-buddy/cop/action comedy, written and directed by Ron Shelton, the…

Hollywood Babble-On

Having seemingly exhausted all permutations of the sports comedy formula (Bull Durham, White Men Can’t Jump, et al.), Ron Shelton has now moved on to another obsession: the Los Angeles Police Department. Earlier this year, we got the uncharacteristically somber Dark Blue, a “what if” tale of the alternately corrupt…