Scary thought—before long, the Barney generation will be running things in America. The Dallas-born show’s target audience has grown up since debuting in 1992; those purple dinosaur-lovers are teenagers now, and some are even old enough for college. Lord knows how long until fraternity and sorority hazing rituals mix their…
With comic books and graphic novels making the leap from the page to the screen so often now, you’re just going to have to admit it. You like the damn things, even if you don’t show the kind of fervent respect for them that some people think you should. Maybe…
Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight…you know the drill. Stars are usually for wishing. But is your wish less valid if it’s on a satellite or more valid if it’s on a planet? There is more to the night sky than meets the eye. Put this fluffy…
Photographer Hal Samples just wishes everyone would take off their blinders. You know, those devices we all have that “protect” us from seeing a homeless man on the street and additional “unpleasantries”…like, say, 6,000 other homeless struggling to factor into someone’s line of sight in this city. Samples has, for…
Being the Generation X-er that I am, Ben Stiller’s 1994 hit, Reality Bites, still holds a special place in my heart. There was Winona Ryder (pre-shoplifting conviction), Janeane Garofalo at the apex of her career and all the others who portrayed the lives of us so-called slackers. And don’t forget…
It wasn’t that long ago when I discovered the gems that are bad movies. I mean, so-bad-they-are-good flicks where the production team probably didn’t know what a grip was or how to use a director of photography. Good, earnest filmmaking with kung fu and car explosions immediately upon impact (thank…
In this month’s installment of “scaring your infant shitless,” we present DinoRoars, the latest exhibit at the Fort Worth Zoo, 1989 Colonial Parkway in Fort Worth. Huge, realistic dinosaur replicas inhabit the new exhibit—they may not be Jurassic Park-perfect, but this is 2006, so these aren’t tacky robo-dinos, either. The…
Dear James Blunt, I remember the first time I saw you. It was an early morning in my small, stuffy apartment. I heard your voice calling from the living room, and I saw that gorgeous, angular, British-boy face. You stood on the beach in the “You’re Beautiful” video on VH-1,…
It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a decade since Danny Boyle led the charge for Cool Britannia with the surreal and poignant Trainspotting. With an edgy Britpop soundtrack and a hungry cast of unknowns (including pre-Obi-Wan Ewan McGregor), Boyle transformed Irvine Welsh’s slang- and jargon-challenged novel into the…
Kid Rock, like Mike Tyson and Tom Cruise, should never say no to an interview. While Tyson and Cruise are great quotes because they’re crazy, Kid Rock is great because he says stuff like this: “I do not believe that artists or actors and people should be out there like…
Bono, U2 front man, humanitarian and sunglasses model, will speak 7:30 p.m. Friday at the Music Hall at Fair Park; he’s being presented by the World Affairs Council of Dallas/Fort Worth, who apparently opted for Bono when Nik Kershaw, Boy George and the lead singer of a-ha proved unavailable. Anyway,…
A word of advice: When choosing a comedy club, stay away from places named Laffy’s or the Laff-Shack. Yukz, Inc! is a pretty terrible name too (as is The Chuckle Hole, The Komedy Klozet, Funny Ha-Ha and Zingers). And you can pretty much guarantee the lameness of a place called…
From time to time, we’ve all had B.O. problems: Maybe you were the kid who never showered after gym class or the guy in the dorm who wore the same boxer shorts all finals week. Fortunately for humans, a hot shower can usually remedy any problems of an odiferous nature…
Butterflies flutter about our stomachs when we ride rollercoasters and frazzle us when we give speeches. Hawthorne compares them to happiness, quietly lighting on our shoulder if we’re patient, while Nabokov intensely pursued and named more than 20 subspecies of the illustrative insect he called “intolerable bliss.” Whether you see…
There are two types of people in this world: People who have opinions and people who write Metro columns for the Dallas Morning News. OK, that’s not entirely fair, as Jacquielynn Floyd knows how to deliver a cogent point even if her commentary is about as middle-of-the-road as a Train…
You’re busy. You’ve got to cram in that guy from sales and dinner with the accounts boss before heading out to cocktails with that cute blonde from the speed-dating event. You don’t have time for a full day of anything, let alone prayer. God understands, right? For your convenience, Dallas’…
United 93–which uses the hijacking of one plane on September 11, 2001, to tell the story of what happened to all four aircraft seized that morning–may be the most wrenching, profound and perfectly made movie nobody wants to see. There is no reason to think that multiplex hordes anxiously await…
The Darwinian theory that schlocksploitation must tighten its twist of the nuts with each new release will be tested strenuously for years–or at least several weeks–by Hard Candy. A pointedly s(l)ick cross between Oleanna and I Spit on Your Grave, thrown like raw meat to Lions Gate for $4 million…
Every year, when ESPN broadcasts the Scripps National Spelling Bee, a tiny flutter of hope rises in anyone who cherishes the life of the mind. Spelling is a sport? Sweet Jesus! For the duration of the competition, the brainy kid who gets his glasses stomped by knuckle-draggers on the playground…
Miss Great Plains, Bonnie Louise Cutlett, looks as shaky as a lamb headed for slaughter. She steps forward during the “talent” round of the make-believe beauty competition called Pageant, now onstage at the Uptown Players, and shyly declaims her painfully original poem: “I am a handful of dirt! When you…
Aeon Flux (Paramount) Many things about this surreal sci-fi flick defy explanation, but nothing more so than the mystery of how it got made in the first place. On paper, it’s an archetypal setup for a bomb: a mostly forgotten cartoon, notable for its visual style and incomprehensibility, revived as…
Boys are oiling their mitts, men have started playing hooky, and Dick Cheney just one-hopped it like a pussy. Yes, baseball season is in full swing, and our dip-juice cup runneth over. Normally, this is cause for heavy titillation — perhaps a strong lather or a well-intentioned fistfight. But 2006…
