Audio By Carbonatix
When living in Miami, I was surrounded. Every South Beach bodega window displays look the same, outfitted with grotesquely (read: AMAZING) tacky odes to Tony Montana. Rifles, framed “art,” and joint rollers branded with His Image face the streets — a city’s twisted welcome to out-of-towners.
Since Scarface is turning 29, let’s do a little holiday shopping and visit those home furnishings that inspire heavy drug use, extreme bloodshed and female seduction.
1.) Autographed Photos With Real Gun, Framed. (Above) It’s a South Beach staple. There’s no way that autograph is real, but every Miami office place, at one point or another, has considered pooling their money to buy one for Boss’ Day. Want it? $599.00, right here.
See Also: It’s Scarface’s Birthday, So Texas Theatre is Screening It in 35mm This Weekend
When news happens, Dallas Observer is there —
Your support strengthens our coverage.
We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If the Dallas Observer matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.
2.) The Scarface “officially licensed” Belt Buckle Dallas is a city that respects innovation. Revenue. Bling. Project that aura, while keeping your draws up, by wearing this self-explanatory belt buckle. And when a lady comments on it, she will, you’ll crassly suggest that she “say hello to my little friend.” Want it? Get it. $25.
3.) The Seediest Beach Towel Ever Made Because it’s good to get really dirty before getting clean, there is the Scarface beach towel. You’ll hit on the FOE’s poolside vixens all summer long with this bad boy. Who knows? Some might even like it. If they don’t? Whatever, that pool is packed. They can’t relocate. Put a bow on it for $15.99.
4.) The Al Pacino Montage Art Wall Clock It’s almost too perfect with its aggression. A layered approach to art and story telling, this item is also a functional home furnishing. So, bonus?
People who liked this also searched for: silver service trays with embellished handles; tiny silver Victorian-era salt spoons; leather furniture, in midnight black, and floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Need it to brighten up a dank corner? Get it for $29.29.
5.) Prop Machine Gun Signed by Cast That You’ll Tell Everyone is “Totally Real”
I love the write-up for this item. It states that this prop machine gun, once framed and displayed, makes “a Great Conversation Piece you and your loved ones will enjoy for years to come.”
Yes… You have loved ones. Loved ones that you haven’t scared away with this “Totally Real” machine gun that you blew $1,279.29 cents on (pre-framing). Women haven’t fled your love nest, half-clothed, when seeing this mounted above your racecar bed. Your family enjoys holidays at your house and insists on flying to your city.
